A Searching Look at Why We Sometimes Avoid Prayer
Is it because you do not believe that God will answer your prayers? Or do you not pray because somewhere deep within you, you believe that if God does answer, you will come face to face with the realization that God is real—and that means you too have to be real about what you say you believe? And if you must face the reality of the truthfulness of what you claim, does that not mean you must also face the reality of who you say you are?
Moreover, if you pray for something and God answers, does that mean you would have to change your belief about God and, therefore, change yourself? If God answers our prayers, does that not mean God is real? And if God is real, then we have to face our excuses for not fully committing our lives to Him. If He is real, then we have to change, because everything else the Bible teaches is true as well. If it is all true, then are we really living obedient lives in line with what we say we believe?
James writes with piercing simplicity: “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2). The absence of prayer is not neutral. Scripture treats it as a real barrier. Hebrews 11:6 adds that “without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Prayer is the practical expression of that belief. To withhold it is often to withhold the very faith we claim to possess.
Thus, if we abandon our quiet belief that God is not real (or at least not relevant enough to answer), it will mean we have to stop believing the lies we tell ourselves and begin trusting God.
Sometimes we call prayer “unnecessary,” “pointless,” or too risky—not because it truly is, but because we are afraid of what could happen if God actually answers. Praying honestly for direction, help, healing, strength, forgiveness, or clarity can feel dangerous. It is often easier to label prayer as something we do not really need right now, or to quietly avoid it altogether, than to admit we are scared of what an answer would mean. If God responds, it will confirm that He is real. And if He is real, then the excuses we have used to keep Him at a distance—the half-hearted commitment, the selective obedience, the comfortable distance, the private compromises—would suddenly become much harder to maintain. We would have to stop believing the lies we tell ourselves and begin trusting Him with more than just words.
The deeper question is: Do I distrust prayer, or do I distrust who I would have to become if God is truly listening and responding?
Really, the distrust is our belief that we can live up to the demand we imagine God will place upon us once He has answered. Rest assured—we cannot. God’s standard is perfection. We see that standard lived out fully in the life, ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Only the God-Man could ever meet the demand of perfection. As God in heaven is perfect, we can stop leaning on that self-imposed, unrealistic excuse for not following through right now. It will never happen in our own strength.
Yet here is the liberating truth of Scripture: “It is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). God does not call the already-equipped; He equips those He calls. He invites us to come precisely because we are inadequate. Hebrews 4:16 therefore urges, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” The throne is a throne of grace, not a throne of demand-for-performance.
So if you believe that encountering the living God would demand more of you than you are willing to give, you will keep prayer at arm’s length. You will treat it as optional, secondary, or something for “later.” But if you trust that God is both real and good—that He is faithful to forgive, cleanse, lead, and transform—then bringing your real needs to Him becomes far less frightening. Faith is not believing everything will go the way you prefer. It is believing that even if the answer requires change, conviction, or obedience, God Himself will supply the grace to live and walk it out. As Jeremiah records the Lord’s own words: “Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:12–13).
Of course, not every prayer request is wise or aligned with God’s will. Some desires need to be surrendered rather than pursued. Some requests come from mixed motives. But many of the deepest needs of our lives—peace, direction, purity, restored relationships, and strength to obey—require stepping into the uncertainty of honest prayer. The key is to come with a willing heart, speak the truth about where we actually are, and then have enough trust in God to receive whatever He gives, whether it is provision, correction, or the strength to change. Jesus Himself invites us: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).
Psalm 145:18 assures us, “The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.” And James 1:5–6 encourages us that if any of us lacks wisdom, we should ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to us—but we must ask in faith, with no doubting.
Sometimes the biggest risk is not praying and being answered.
It is spending years wondering what might have happened if you had trusted God enough to ask—and then to change.
Prayer
Lord, You are near to all who call upon You in truth. Forgive us for the times we have held back from prayer out of fear of what Your answer might require of us. Give us the courage to come boldly to Your throne of grace. Work in us both to will and to do for Your good pleasure. Help us stop believing the lies that keep us at a distance and teach us to trust You fully. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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Book: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Finding Unconditional Love in Christ
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQB4MJYW
Study Guide: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Companion Study Guide: Healing Generational Wounds Through 40 Devotions
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