Leading and Living Under Authority with Godly Wisdom: How Should Our Accountability to God Shape How We Lead and Respond to Authority?

Whether we lead or serve under others, our first responsibility is to honor God 

through humility, justice, and faithful service. 

 

“We ought to obey God rather than men.” Acts 5:29 (NKJV)

 

All human authority remains accountable to God. Scripture teaches us to lead humbly, share responsibilities wisely, pursue justice, and respect authority without placing it above obedience to Him. 

 

When Responsibility Feels Heavy 

Most of us know how hard it is to be responsible for others or to live with decisions someone else makes. We may feel overwhelmed when people depend on us, frustrated when a leader will not listen, or uncertain when obedience pulls us in multiple directions. In those moments, we need more than a stronger opinion. We need God’s Word to guide our choices and our hearts. Scripture speaks to us on both sides of responsibility. Whether we make decisions or respond to them, we remain accountable to the same Lord. His authority gives us a foundation for leading without pride and for following without surrendering our conscience. 

 

Recognizing God as the Highest Authority 

Romans 13:1 begins, “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities.” Paul explains that authority comes from God and that rulers must restrain wrongdoing and serve the common good. Our respect, therefore, should extend beyond whether we personally like the person in office. Romans 13:5 links submission to conscience, reminding us that our conduct matters to God even when no one is watching. That responsibility does not make human authority unlimited. 

When the apostles were ordered to stop teaching about Jesus, Peter replied, “We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). They refused to obey a command that directly opposed the work Christ had entrusted to them. These passages belong together. God calls us to respect authority while keeping our highest allegiance to Him. Disliking a decision does not automatically justify disobedience, but no position gives anyone the right to require what God forbids. Jesus’ instruction to give Caesar what belongs to Caesar and God what belongs to God helps us keep those loyalties in their proper place (Matthew 22:21). 

 

Keeping Leaders Accountable to God’s Word 

Once we recognize the source of authority, we can understand why leaders also need correction. In Deuteronomy 17:18-20, God instructed Israel’s king to keep a copy of his law and read it throughout his life. The purpose was to learn to fear the Lord and to keep his heart from being lifted above his fellow Israelites. Even the king needed a daily reminder that God’s authority applied to him. 

Those instructions were part of Israel’s covenant life, yet they reveal a truth we still need: responsibility does not place us above the people we serve. Restrictions on accumulating horses, wives, and wealth also warned against allowing power and possessions to draw the king’s heart away from God. Peter applies that concern to church leadership, calling elders to lead by example rather than to dominate those entrusted to them (1 Peter 5:1-3). Ezekiel 34:1-10 likewise exposes the harm caused when shepherds care for themselves while neglecting the weak. 

When we lead, we must first let Scripture examine our decisions before we use it to examine everyone else’s. A teachable heart helps us remember that people are entrusted to our care, not placed beneath us to satisfy our pride. 

 

Recognizing What Human Leadership Cannot Change 

Accountable leadership matters deeply, but even good leadership cannot take God’s place. In 1 Samuel 8, Israel had genuine reasons to be concerned: Samuel’s sons accepted bribes and distorted justice. Their wrongdoing needed to be addressed. Yet beneath the demand for a king lay another problem. God told Samuel, “They have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them” (1 Samuel 8:7). The people wanted a visible ruler to give them the security they were failing to seek from God. 

We understand that desire when circumstances leave us weary. A different leader or a better system may seem to promise the peace we have been missing. Necessary changes can protect people and correct injustice, but they cannot give us a new heart. Psalm 118:9 says, “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.” We can support good leadership without expecting anyone to save us. Our deepest need remains Christ's mercy and the renewing work of His Spirit. Titus 3:5 places that renewal in God’s hands, not in our ability to reorganize our lives. 

 

Receiving Counsel and Sharing Responsibility 

Depending on God also changes how we carry responsibility. In Exodus 18:13-26, Moses spent the day hearing the people’s disputes as they waited for his attention. Jethro saw the strain and warned that both Moses and the people would wear themselves out. His concern went beyond how hard Moses was working to how well the people were being served. Jethro urged Moses to continue teaching God’s ways while appointing capable, trustworthy men to manage matters others could resolve. Difficult cases would still come to Moses, but the entire burden would no longer rest on him alone. 

Moses listened to and acted on Jethro’s counsel. We may resist help because explaining a task takes time or because we fear it will not be done our way. Yet sharing responsibility gives others room to grow and helps us remain faithful to the work we must do. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us that many counselors bring safety. Receiving wise advice does not diminish our responsibility; it helps us fulfill it with greater humility and care. 

 

Choosing Trustworthy, Spirit-Led Workers 

Sharing the load raises an important concern: those entrusted with responsibility must be prepared to carry it faithfully. Acts 6:1-7 records a complaint that certain widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. The apostles took the need seriously without neglecting prayer and the ministry of the Word. They instructed the congregation to select men “of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom” (Acts 6:3). 

Practical care was important enough to require spiritually mature servants. The apostles did not treat feeding widows as an interruption of God’s work. They ensured that work received proper attention while preserving their own responsibilities. 

The same care should guide us when inviting others to serve. Ability matters, but so do honesty, wisdom, and a willingness to follow God. First Timothy 3:8-10 likewise emphasizes proven character among deacons. We need more than someone who can finish a task; we need people who care about those affected by the work. As 1 Peter 4:10 teaches, God entrusts our gifts to us for serving one another. 

 

Upholding Justice When Choosing and Supporting Leaders 

The concern for trustworthy workers extends to the leaders we appoint and support. Deuteronomy 16:19 says, “You shall not pervert justice; you shall not show partiality, nor take a bribe.” Exodus 18:21 likewise calls for leaders who fear God, tell the truth, and reject dishonest gain. These qualities protect people whose needs might otherwise be ignored. 

Leviticus 19:15 makes the standard especially clear: judgment must not favor either the poor or the powerful. Justice requires us to consider what is right rather than who benefits from our decision. God’s concern for the vulnerable helps us understand why influence must never excuse overlooking harm (Deuteronomy 10:17-18). 

That responsibility extends to our everyday choices. We must not excuse dishonesty simply because someone agrees with us, nor condemn an opponent’s conduct while defending a friend. Supporting a leader should include a willingness to speak the truth about that leader’s actions. Our loyalty to Christ requires greater faithfulness than protecting someone’s reputation at the expense of justice. 

 

Respecting Authority Through Responsible Conduct 

Holding leaders accountable does not relieve us of our responsibilities. Romans 13:6-7 addresses taxes, obligations, and honor, while Titus 3:1-2 calls believers to obey authorities, be ready for good works, and show gentleness toward others. Our witness includes how we speak when disappointed and how we behave when cooperation is inconvenient. 

Paul then reminds us why we need that gentleness. We, too, have needed God’s mercy. Titus 3:3-7 moves from our former sinfulness to God’s kindness, who saves by His mercy rather than by our righteous achievements. Remembering that grace leaves less room for contempt and more room for patient, truthful service. 

We cannot reduce Christian responsibility to merely avoiding trouble. Galatians 6:10 calls us to do good whenever we have the opportunity, and Philippians 2:3-4 directs our attention to the needs of others. Whether we are meeting an obligation, helping a neighbor, or speaking about a public concern, our conduct should show that belonging to Christ has changed how we treat people. 

 

Remaining Faithful When Human Commands Conflict with God’s Word

Respectful conduct prepares us to respond rightly when obedience to God requires refusal. In Acts 5:27-42, the apostles kept proclaiming Christ despite being forbidden to teach in His name. Their courage rested on Christ’s command, not on a desire to win an argument or escape ordinary responsibilities. 

Daniel 3:16-18 illustrates the same loyalty. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego refused to worship the king’s image, whether or not God delivered them from the furnace. Their faithfulness did not hinge on a promise that obedience would spare them from suffering. Likewise, the Hebrew midwives feared God and refused Pharaoh’s command to kill the Hebrew boys (Exodus 1:15-17). 

We need that courage joined with Christ's character. First Peter 3:15 calls us to explain our hope with meekness and fear, and Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). We may refuse a sinful command without becoming cruel. God’s Word must guide both the stand we take and the spirit in which we take it. 

 

Moses Had the Humility to Listen

Moses brings these truths close to our lives. He had been entrusted with an extraordinary responsibility, yet he still needed someone to notice what he could not carry alone. Jethro’s counsel did not ask him to care less about the people. It showed him how to care for them more faithfully. Exodus 18:24 tells us that Moses listened. That simple response matters because we can become so occupied with helping others that correction can feel like interference. His example reminds us that faithfulness includes receiving help. From there, we can consider how that same humility might change how we lead, listen, and serve in our own relationships. 

 

Putting Godly Responsibility into Daily Practice 

At Home: Let Love Shape Our Leadership 

Responsibility at home should make us more attentive, not more controlling. Philippians 2:3-4 calls us to consider others with humility. We can begin by listening carefully, explaining our decisions, and admitting when we are wrong. The people closest to us should have room to speak without fearing that disagreement will cost them our affection. 

At Church: Share the Work and Protect the People 

Acts 6 reminds us that practical needs deserve attention. We can serve where God has equipped us, invite trustworthy help, and take seriously the concerns of those who are overlooked. Respecting leaders includes encouraging accountability. When someone is being harmed, seeking safety and appropriate help is consistent with protecting those God calls us to love. 

At Work: Be Dependable and Honest 

We can fulfill our responsibilities without agreeing with every decision. Titus 3:1 encourages readiness for good works, while Acts 5:29 sets the boundary when a demand contradicts obedience to God. Before reacting, we should understand what is being asked, seek wise counsel when needed, and respond truthfully. Dependability and conviction go together. 

In Our Communities: Seek Justice Without Contempt 

Our words should reflect the Lord we serve, even when public disagreements turn heated. We can evaluate leaders honestly, reject favoritism, and contribute to our neighbors’ good. Remembering our need for grace helps us pursue justice without treating people as enemies to despise. These daily choices become opportunities to honor God wherever He has placed us. 

 

Prayer 

Father, thank You for giving us Your Word and for showing us Your mercy through Christ Jesus our Lord. Keep our trust in You above all human leaders. Where we bear responsibility, teach us to listen, welcome correction, and share the work wisely. Where we serve under others, help us be honest, dependable, and respectful. Give us the courage to refuse what dishonors You and the compassion to extend to those who oppose us. Through Your Holy Spirit, transform the pride, fear, and selfishness within us so that our decisions reflect Your truth and love. Help us protect the overlooked and serve faithfully in the places You have entrusted to us. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

 

Read the full reflection here: [Substack link] 

https://ammartinez.substack.com/p/leading-and-living-under-authority?r=1smlyb&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true 

 

Book: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Finding Unconditional Love in Christ 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQB4MJYW

Study Guide: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Companion Study Guide: Healing Generational Wounds Through 40 Devotions https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H33MHYMY

Leading and Living Under Authority with Godly Wisdom

A Changed Heart: Learning to Live in Ways That Please God

How Does God Change Our Hearts 

So Our Words, Choices, and Character Reflect Christ? 

Only God can give us a new heart; through His Holy Spirit, He teaches us to live from the grace we have received in Christ. 

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.” Ezekiel 36:26-27 (NKJV) 

 

Our deepest need is not greater outward control but inward renewal. Through Christ, God gives us new life by His Holy Spirit, who uses His Word to renew our thinking, reshape our desires, and produce obedience that pleases Him. 

We may know the disappointment of promising ourselves that the next conversation will be different, only to hear the same harshness in our voice. Even when we manage to remain quiet, resentment may linger beneath the silence. We have restrained a response, but the desire behind it still needs attention. Restraint matters because our words and actions affect others. Yet stopping an outward act is different from receiving a new heart. We can change a routine, protect our reputation, or comply with a rule without coming to love what God loves. No amount of self-discipline can bring about the spiritual birth Jesus says we need. That is not a reason to despair or abandon responsibility. It directs us toward the One who can do what we cannot. God does not merely instruct us to make ourselves spiritually alive. In His grace, He gives new life through Christ and places His Holy Spirit within His chosen people. Understanding that difference changes how we approach both our sin and our hope of becoming different. 

 

Understanding the Heart: More Than Our Emotions 

To understand what God changes, we must first understand what Scripture means by the heart. It encompasses more than our emotions; it includes our thoughts, desires, intentions, and choices. Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” The surrounding instructions address our speech, our eyes, and the direction of our steps, linking our inner life to our outward conduct. Guarding the heart therefore means paying attention not only to what we do but also to the thoughts and desires behind our actions. 

Jesus makes this connection clear when He says, “For out of the abundance of the heart our mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). If contempt repeatedly enters our conversations, learning to use more polite words will not remove the resentment beneath them. We need the Holy Spirit to change our attitude toward the other person so that our words express genuine love rather than concealed hostility. Recognizing that need does not mean every passing feeling defines our character or that one failure tells the whole story of our faith. It does mean we should examine our words and choices honestly rather than concentrating only on how we appear to others. As we bring our thoughts and desires before the Lord, we ask Him not only to help us sound kind but also to produce within us the love that makes our kindness sincere. 

 

Recognizing the Heart’s Deception 

That examination can be uncomfortable because we are often skilled at explaining ourselves. We may call resentment discernment, harshness honesty, or a desire for control concern for someone else. The explanation feels reasonable because we hear it from within our own thinking. Jeremiah 17:9 confronts that confidence: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” The next verse answers: “I, the LORD, search the heart.” Our sincerity does not make every conclusion true, and our inability to see a wrong motive does not mean it is absent. 

This is why Psalm 139:23-24 teaches us to ask God to search us and lead us in the everlasting way. We are not asking Him to approve the account we have already prepared. We are asking Him to show us what we have missed, defended, or refused to acknowledge. Hebrews 4:12 describes His Word as discerning “the thoughts and intents of the heart.” As the Holy Spirit applies Scripture to our lives, familiar excuses become harder to sustain. That exposure is painful, but hiding from it cannot heal us. We need the truth God reveals because our own judgment cannot cleanse the heart it seeks to assess. 

 

Seeing How Inner Sin Shapes Our Words and Actions 

Jesus’ teaching on defilement brings this problem into sharper focus. In Mark 7:14-23, the discussion centers on ceremonial washing and what renders a person unclean. Jesus directs attention beyond outward observance to the moral condition within. Matthew 15:18 records His words: “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.” He then identifies evil thoughts and sinful actions that arise from within. A religious appearance cannot remove the pride, deceit, or malice we continue to harbor. 

We therefore cannot measure purity solely by what others notice. We might avoid speaking a cruel word while still harboring a wish to wound someone. Silence prevents harm, but cherished malice still requires repentance. Sin is often inward even before it becomes publicly visible. Circumstances and other people’s actions matter, and we should not pretend they never influence us. Nevertheless, being provoked does not make our wrongdoing righteous. Jesus calls us to address what comes from us rather than explain it entirely by what happens around us. Once we recognize how deep the problem runs, another rule or a stronger resolution is no longer an adequate answer. We need cleansing and life that we cannot produce for ourselves. 

 

Receiving the New Heart God Provides 

Our anchor passage answers that need with God’s promise. Speaking of His people's cleansing and restoration, He says, “I will give you a new heart,” and then, “I will put My Spirit within you” (Ezekiel 36:26-27). The emphasis is on what God will do. He does not tell His people to turn their stone hearts into living hearts through sheer effort. Jesus teaches the necessity of this divine work when He tells Nicodemus that we must be born again. “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit” (John 3:6). Religious knowledge, respectable conduct, and determination cannot accomplish that birth. 

Titus 3:5 makes the source unmistakable: “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.” The passage goes on to describe the Spirit poured out abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior. We come to Christ in faith, relying on His saving mercy rather than offering improved behavior as the price of acceptance. His death and resurrection are the foundation of our hope, and His Spirit gives us the inward life we lack. A changed heart is therefore not our achievement, even with a little divine assistance. It is God’s gracious work. The obedience that follows results from His renewing presence, not from our creating that presence for ourselves. 

 

Renewing Our Minds Through God’s Word 

Receiving new life does not mean that every familiar way of thinking disappears immediately. The Lord continues to teach us to recognize what is true and to live accordingly. Romans 12:1-2 places this response within “the mercies of God” and calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. The order matters. We respond to mercy already given, not to become worthy of receiving it. As the Holy Spirit uses Scripture to renew our thinking, we begin to recognize where our assumptions conflict with the God we now belong. 

Psalm 119:11 expresses this dependence: “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” Scripture is not a technique for manufacturing spiritual life. It is God’s truth, through which His Spirit instructs, corrects, and strengthens His people. Reading, then, involves more than collecting verses that support our preferences. When Scripture calls us to forgive, speak truthfully, or consider another person’s needs, we ask God to make us willing to obey, even when obedience challenges what we want. James 1:22 warns us against hearing without doing. Our response matters, but it never replaces the source of our renewal. We listen and act in dependence on the Holy Spirit, who changes us through the truth rather than leaving us to educate ourselves out of sin. 

 

Responding Faithfully to Temptation and Inner Conflict 

As our thinking changes, we may become more aware of desires that oppose God. That struggle can discourage us if we assume a new heart means we will never face temptation again. Galatians 5:17 describes the conflict between the flesh and the Spirit, showing that believers still face opposition in their daily walk. Temptation itself does not prove we have consented to sin. Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus was tempted yet remained without sin. An unwanted thought is different from deliberately welcoming and dwelling on it. At the same time, James 1:14-15 warns that desire draws us toward sin, and we must not excuse inward wrongdoing simply because we have not acted outwardly. 

The answer is not confidence in stronger willpower. “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). We turn to God for help and take the steps His Word directs. That may mean leaving a tempting situation, refusing to feed resentment, or asking a trustworthy believer to pray with us. Second Timothy 2:22 calls us to flee sinful desires while pursuing righteousness, faith, love, and peace. These actions do not create a new heart; they express dependence on the Spirit who enables us to resist. 

 

Practicing Repentance and Obedience 

When we fall, that same dependence leads us to confession rather than concealment. First John 1:9 promises that God forgives and cleanses those who confess their sins. We do not need to improve our record before admitting the truth to Him. Repentance then goes beyond feeling ashamed. In Ephesians 4:22-32, Paul links the putting off of the old life with renewed thinking and concrete changes in conduct. Falsehood gives way to truth, harmful speech to words that build up, and bitterness to kindness and forgiveness. 

This is not a program in which replacing enough behaviors eventually earns us a clean heart. Paul describes how those made new in Christ are to live. The inward work of grace becomes visible as we stop defending sin and respond to God’s commands. Philippians 2:12-13 holds our responsibility together with its source: we work out our salvation because God works within us “both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” We also cannot boast about our willingness to please Him as though we produced it independently. We therefore apologize, tell the truth, and turn from the harmful pattern while asking for His continuing help. Acknowledging that only God changes hearts must never excuse us from continuing to injure others while we wait to feel different. 

 

Recognizing the Fruit of a Changing Heart 

As we walk in obedience by the Holy Spirit’s power, His work becomes increasingly evident in our character. Galatians 5:22-23 describes that work as “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” These qualities are called the fruit of the Spirit because He produces them within us, not because we have mastered religious performance. We may recognize His work as we become more willing to receive correction, quicker to confess our sins, and more concerned for others than for proving ourselves right. Such changes go beyond merely appearing calmer; they reveal a deeper shift in what we value and how we love. 

This growth does not mean we have reached sinless perfection. First John 1:8 warns against claiming to have no sin, and Paul acknowledges that he has not yet been perfected but continues pressing forward (Philippians 3:12-14). We therefore need neither to excuse our failures nor to treat each failure as evidence that God has done nothing within us. Instead, Philippians 1:6 directs our confidence to the One who began His good work and will complete it. As we continue to respond to His Word, we depend on the same Spirit who gave us new life to sustain our growth. We never outgrow our need for Him. 

 

Bringing Our Real Hearts Before God 

Ask for More Than Outward Restraint 

In a difficult conversation, we may rightly ask God to help us hold our tongue. We can also ask Him to expose contempt, pride, or resentment beneath our words and to produce genuine love where we cannot manufacture it. 

Let Conviction Lead Us to Christ

When Scripture reveals our sin, we need not hide behind comparisons with others. We can confess specifically and receive mercy, trusting that the Lord who exposes our need also provides cleansing. 

Practice Obedience Without Making It Our Savior 

Prayer, Scripture, wise counsel, and accountable relationships matter. They are not substitutes for the Holy Spirit or a means to purchase renewal. We receive them as means through which God can help us live faithfully. 

Look for Love, Not Merely a Better Image 

At home and in our relationships, spiritual growth is about more than making a good impression. We need the Holy Spirit to change how we think about and care for others, so that our kindness comes from genuine love rather than a desire for approval. 

 

Prayer

Father, You know our hearts more fully than we know ourselves. Forgive us for trying to appear changed while protecting the desires that displease You. Thank You for sending Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior, and for giving us new life through Your Holy Spirit. We cannot cleanse ourselves or produce the love You command. Renew our thinking through Your Word, expose our excuses, and give us willing hearts that respond to You. Help us resist temptation, confess our sins honestly, and, by Your strength, put obedience into practice. Produce Your fruit within us so that our words, choices, and relationships increasingly reflect Your will through Christ. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

 

Read the full reflection here: [Substack link] 

https://ammartinez.substack.com/p/a-changed-heart-learning-to-live?r=1smlyb&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

 

Book: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Finding Unconditional Love in Christ 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQB4MJYW

Study Guide: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Companion Study Guide: Healing Generational Wounds Through 40 Devotions https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H33MHYMY

How Does God Change Our Hearts So Our Words, Choices, and Character Reflect Christ?

God’s gift is a new heart, and a changed life grows through the power of His Holy Spirit.

A New Heart; Holy Spirit; Inward Transformation; Born Again; Ezekiel 36; Renewing the Mind; Heart and Character; Repentance and Obedience; Fruit of the Spirit; Grace and Growth 

#ANewHeart #HolySpirit #TransformedByGrace #NewLifeInChrist #FruitOfTheSpirit

Why I Keep Writing, and Why I Keep Trusting Christ: An honest account of the experiences, convictions, and unfinished growth behind Biblical Influence & Life Application.

The Life Behind the Words 

I write about faith because I need the truth I am sharing. Scripture is not merely material for an article or a collection of answers to someone else’s problems. It speaks to my questions, exposes weaknesses in my thinking, and reminds me where my hope belongs when life does not match what I once imagined.

My childhood included abuse and failures of protection by people I should have been able to trust. Those experiences shaped how I understood love, safety, authority, and my own worth. When the person responsible for protecting a child is also the one causing harm, that child is left trying to make sense of a world that does not make sense. Looking back, I can recognize how much of my attention went toward getting through the present rather than preparing for the future. 

That history helps explain some of my later choices, but it does not make every choice right. Some things were done to me that were never my responsibility, and some decisions I made were mine to own. Understanding my life honestly requires keeping those distinctions clear. I do not want to blame myself for another person’s wrongdoing, but I also do not want to use what happened to me as an excuse to avoid examining myself. 

I do not believe the abuse was necessary for me to become someone God could love or use, because His love was never something my suffering had to earn. We often recognize how deeply someone values something by what they are willing to give for it. Yet even that comparison falls short when I consider, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:16). 

As a father, I cannot comprehend giving my child so that people who had committed terrible evil, including those who would kill my child, could receive life. Yet God gave His Son for sinners, and Jesus willingly laid down His life for us, knowing that many would still reject Him (Romans 5:8; John 10:18). That does not mean we deserved such a sacrifice. It reveals a love whose depth I cannot measure, a love that exposes the lie that I was worthless without pretending I was sinless. 

Christ came not merely to offer me better circumstances but to save me from sin and condemnation and to give me everlasting life (John 3:16-18). This is what changed me: not discovering that my wounds had made me worthy, but having my eyes opened to the mercy God had already extended to me through His Son. Even my salvation is not an accomplishment I can claim; it is His gift of grace, received through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

The abuse remains evil, but it does not determine my worth or have the final say over my life. God preserved me, made me new in Christ, and gave me a grateful heart. That gratitude is why I write. I cannot fully explain such love, but I can point others to the Savior who has shown it to me. 

 

Learning the Difference Between Being Needed and Being Loved 

One of the deepest questions running through my life has been what love actually is. I briefly touched on it above in relation to the value of what someone is willing to give for something or someone they love. When safety seems to depend on compliance, it becomes hard to separate love from transactions: doing what someone wants to avoid rejection or harm. Those lessons do not necessarily disappear when childhood ends. 

Christ’s words help me recognize the difference between love that protects and gives, and behavior that uses, harms, and abandons. That understanding continues to correct the distorted lessons I learned about love. 

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. 

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.” 

John 10:10-15 (NKJV) 

God’s willingness to give His Son reveals the depth of His love for us, even in our sin and helplessness. Christ, the Good Shepherd, gave His life for people who could neither save themselves nor earn His love. 

This is part of what gives my book, I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have, its title and personal meaning. I needed love that was not being offered to me. Recognizing that failure helps me understand the importance of receiving from Christ what I cannot manufacture through obedient determination alone. It also challenges me to consider what I am passing on to others, specifically, pointing others to Christ, who can give what we all need: eternal life. 

My wife and our children are central to our spiritual walk with Christ as we grow together in our relationship with Him. I have described how fear of losing my wife or one of our children became entangled with my dependence on my family. Yet I also recognize change. Although difficult thoughts still arise, I no longer panic when I am apart from them as I once did, nor do I immediately resort to old, neurotic, or impulsive behaviors to quiet that fear. 

This change has grown from a deeper understanding of what Christ has done for me. That is why I point others toward Him: the grace I depend on is the grace I want them to know. 

Understanding love also requires me to remember that another person is not an object to satisfy my needs. That conviction shapes how I treat people and how I use money, influence, and possessions. I am responsible for caring for others and using what God has entrusted to me in ways that serve rather than control them. Having experienced the harm of being used, I want to stay alert to how I treat others, even when my intentions seem good to me. 

 

Why Christ Is More Than a Religious Answer 

My faith in Jesus Christ is not separate from these questions. It is where I bring them. I believe He died for my sins, rose from the dead, and offers eternal life to those who place their faith in Him. That means my hope no longer depends on whether I can repair every consequence, understand every disappointment, or make the rest of my life match the dreams I once had. 

Ephesians 2:8-10 keeps an essential order before me: salvation is a gift of grace, received by faith, not something I earn through achievement. Yet that same grace calls me to a life of good works. I am not trying to become impressive enough for God to accept me. I am learning to live in response to what He has done for me in Christ. 

That distinction becomes especially important when I am exhausted by my failures. Psalm 103:14 says that God “remembers that we are dust.” I have sometimes allowed that truth to become a reason for resignation: if I am weak and likely to fail again, why keep trying? But the Father’s compassion is not a declaration that growth is pointless. His knowledge of my weakness gives me reason to seek His help rather than surrender to it. 

Philippians 2:13 reminds me that God works within His people “both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” My responsibility remains real, yet I am not left to meet it by my own strength alone. 

 

Why I Write About Everyday Life 

That is why practical application matters so much in Biblical Influence & Life Application. A biblical truth should extend beyond the page to how we speak to our spouses, family, friends, and co-workers; how we respond to disappointment, manage money, receive correction, and treat people who cannot give us anything in return. 

I want my writing to help make those connections clear. I do not want someone to finish reading with more religious vocabulary but with no clearer sense of how God’s Word speaks to the situation they will face when they put the article down. 

I especially hope to reach people who are tired, discouraged, or ashamed of struggling. I know what it is to question whether effort is getting anywhere. I know the frustration of looking at life and seeing one step forward followed by what feels like two steps back. That doesn’t mean I understand every reader’s experience, but it does mean I don’t want to speak from a distance, as though their questions belong only to them. 

My desire to serve did not begin with writing. As a younger man, I wanted to become a firefighter, and I eventually lived that dream, though briefly. I valued the work and enjoyed the recognition that came with it. Both belong in an honest account. Wanting to protect others was real; so was appreciating their praise. 

That mixture gives me something to examine in my writing now. Am I trying to help someone, prove something about myself, or both? I cannot assume that a worthwhile activity renders every motive behind it pure. At the same time, I need not condemn every desire to contribute or every pleasure in knowing that my work helped someone. 

 

What I Am Still Learning to Examine 

Writing about truth places on me the responsibility to examine my own conclusions, not merely the conclusions of others. 

When I say the past has shaped me, I need to be careful not to turn that into a claim that the past controls every remaining possibility. When I recognize God’s sovereignty, I must not assume I know exactly why He permitted a particular event. And when an opportunity closes, I may trust His care without declaring with certainty that I have identified His reason. 

The same care is needed when I speak about family. My adoptive parents failed me in serious ways. That is part of my experience. It does not establish that adoptive parents generally cannot love their children, nor does it establish that biological parenthood guarantees faithful love. My testimony is strongest when I tell the truth about what happened without asking that experience to prove more than it can. 

I also need to distinguish humility from treating myself as if I do not matter. Pointing readers toward Christ does not require pretending that my life, gifts, or voice have no value. It requires acknowledging the source of that value and using what I have responsibly. 

These are not corrections I can make once and then consider finished. They are part of learning to submit my thinking to Scripture, especially when a conclusion feels convincing because it has been familiar for many years. 

 

Trusting God Without Pretending the Waiting Is Easy 

Sometimes God seems silent, and circumstances remain unchanged. Prayer does not always provide the explanation I want, but it gives me a place to speak honestly before the One I trust. I do not need to mask disappointment as gratitude when I bring it to Him. I can acknowledge the disappointment while remembering that it is not all I have to say about His care. 

Nor does waiting mean doing nothing. Sometimes the faithful response is to pause, seek counsel, or gather information. At other times, I already know enough to apologize, honor a commitment, resist a harmful response, or complete the work before me. I am learning that uncertainty about the future does not relieve me of responsibility in the present. 

That understanding also shapes how I respond to criticism. Not all criticism is fair, but disagreement alone does not prove that I am misunderstood or opposed for my faith. I need to listen for what may be true, correct what needs correction, and remain clear about what Scripture teaches. Defending my pride and defending the faith are not the same task. 

For me, spiritual maturity is not about having no questions or reaching a point where nothing hurts. It means becoming more truthful, more teachable, and more willing to obey Christ without first requiring that life become easy. Success must therefore mean more than recognition, possessions, or the fulfillment of an old ambition. It must include faithfulness to the life and responsibilities I actually have. 

 

I Am Still Here, and I Am Not Giving Up on Him 

I haven’t reached a point where every wound is healed, or every response reflects the man I hope to become. Some days, my words reveal discouragement more readily than hope. Yet I continue writing, examining, praying, and returning to Scripture because I still believe Christ is worthy of my trust. 

My determination is to remain with Him to the end, come hell or high water. That is not a boast that I will never stumble or need anyone’s help. It is a statement of where I intend to turn when I do stumble. I am not seeking a life apart from Him, and I do not want disappointment to drive me to abandon the Savior in whom I have placed my hope. 

Peter’s question reflects that conviction: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). 

That is the hope beneath my writing. I cannot guarantee that my readers’ circumstances will improve as they hope. I can point them to Christ while acknowledging that I need Him just as much as they do. My life remains unfinished, yet I remain committed to following Him, receiving His correction, depending on His grace, and using the time I have to help others understand why He is worth trusting. 

 

Prayer

Father, thank You for loving me before I understood Your love and for saving me through Jesus Christ. You know what wounded me, where I have failed, and where I still need to grow. Help me receive Your correction, take responsibility for my choices, and treat others with the care I needed myself. Keep my writing honest, my motives open before You, and my hope rooted in Your promises. By Your grace, help me follow Christ to the end and point others toward the eternal life found in Him. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

 

Book: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Finding Unconditional Love in Christ 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQB4MJYW

 

Study Guide: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Companion Study Guide: Healing Generational Wounds Through 40 Devotions 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H33MHYMY

#TrustingChrist #God’sLove #SalvationbyGraceThroughFaith #SpiritualGrowth #ReceivingGod’sLove #HonestFaith #SpiritualMaturity #HopeinJesus #SpiritualGrowth #ThroughScripture #FindingWorthInChrist

Read the full reflection here: [Substack link] 

https://ammartinez.substack.com/p/2dbb0f47-d934-439e-a044-332f40286946?postPreview=free&updated=2026-10-26T21%3A45%3A56.705Z&audience=everyone&free_preview=false&freemail=true