Why I Keep Writing, and Why I Keep Trusting Christ: An honest account of the experiences, convictions, and unfinished growth behind Biblical Influence & Life Application.

The Life Behind the Words 

I write about faith because I need the truth I am sharing. Scripture is not merely material for an article or a collection of answers to someone else’s problems. It speaks to my questions, exposes weaknesses in my thinking, and reminds me where my hope belongs when life does not match what I once imagined.

My childhood included abuse and failures of protection by people I should have been able to trust. Those experiences shaped how I understood love, safety, authority, and my own worth. When the person responsible for protecting a child is also the one causing harm, that child is left trying to make sense of a world that does not make sense. Looking back, I can recognize how much of my attention went toward getting through the present rather than preparing for the future. 

That history helps explain some of my later choices, but it does not make every choice right. Some things were done to me that were never my responsibility, and some decisions I made were mine to own. Understanding my life honestly requires keeping those distinctions clear. I do not want to blame myself for another person’s wrongdoing, but I also do not want to use what happened to me as an excuse to avoid examining myself. 

I do not believe the abuse was necessary for me to become someone God could love or use, because His love was never something my suffering had to earn. We often recognize how deeply someone values something by what they are willing to give for it. Yet even that comparison falls short when I consider, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:16). 

As a father, I cannot comprehend giving my child so that people who had committed terrible evil, including those who would kill my child, could receive life. Yet God gave His Son for sinners, and Jesus willingly laid down His life for us, knowing that many would still reject Him (Romans 5:8; John 10:18). That does not mean we deserved such a sacrifice. It reveals a love whose depth I cannot measure, a love that exposes the lie that I was worthless without pretending I was sinless. 

Christ came not merely to offer me better circumstances but to save me from sin and condemnation and to give me everlasting life (John 3:16-18). This is what changed me: not discovering that my wounds had made me worthy, but having my eyes opened to the mercy God had already extended to me through His Son. Even my salvation is not an accomplishment I can claim; it is His gift of grace, received through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

The abuse remains evil, but it does not determine my worth or have the final say over my life. God preserved me, made me new in Christ, and gave me a grateful heart. That gratitude is why I write. I cannot fully explain such love, but I can point others to the Savior who has shown it to me. 

 

Learning the Difference Between Being Needed and Being Loved 

One of the deepest questions running through my life has been what love actually is. I briefly touched on it above in relation to the value of what someone is willing to give for something or someone they love. When safety seems to depend on compliance, it becomes hard to separate love from transactions: doing what someone wants to avoid rejection or harm. Those lessons do not necessarily disappear when childhood ends. 

Christ’s words help me recognize the difference between love that protects and gives, and behavior that uses, harms, and abandons. That understanding continues to correct the distorted lessons I learned about love. 

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. 

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.” 

John 10:10-15 (NKJV) 

God’s willingness to give His Son reveals the depth of His love for us, even in our sin and helplessness. Christ, the Good Shepherd, gave His life for people who could neither save themselves nor earn His love. 

This is part of what gives my book, I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have, its title and personal meaning. I needed love that was not being offered to me. Recognizing that failure helps me understand the importance of receiving from Christ what I cannot manufacture through obedient determination alone. It also challenges me to consider what I am passing on to others, specifically, pointing others to Christ, who can give what we all need: eternal life. 

My wife and our children are central to our spiritual walk with Christ as we grow together in our relationship with Him. I have described how fear of losing my wife or one of our children became entangled with my dependence on my family. Yet I also recognize change. Although difficult thoughts still arise, I no longer panic when I am apart from them as I once did, nor do I immediately resort to old, neurotic, or impulsive behaviors to quiet that fear. 

This change has grown from a deeper understanding of what Christ has done for me. That is why I point others toward Him: the grace I depend on is the grace I want them to know. 

Understanding love also requires me to remember that another person is not an object to satisfy my needs. That conviction shapes how I treat people and how I use money, influence, and possessions. I am responsible for caring for others and using what God has entrusted to me in ways that serve rather than control them. Having experienced the harm of being used, I want to stay alert to how I treat others, even when my intentions seem good to me. 

 

Why Christ Is More Than a Religious Answer 

My faith in Jesus Christ is not separate from these questions. It is where I bring them. I believe He died for my sins, rose from the dead, and offers eternal life to those who place their faith in Him. That means my hope no longer depends on whether I can repair every consequence, understand every disappointment, or make the rest of my life match the dreams I once had. 

Ephesians 2:8-10 keeps an essential order before me: salvation is a gift of grace, received by faith, not something I earn through achievement. Yet that same grace calls me to a life of good works. I am not trying to become impressive enough for God to accept me. I am learning to live in response to what He has done for me in Christ. 

That distinction becomes especially important when I am exhausted by my failures. Psalm 103:14 says that God “remembers that we are dust.” I have sometimes allowed that truth to become a reason for resignation: if I am weak and likely to fail again, why keep trying? But the Father’s compassion is not a declaration that growth is pointless. His knowledge of my weakness gives me reason to seek His help rather than surrender to it. 

Philippians 2:13 reminds me that God works within His people “both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” My responsibility remains real, yet I am not left to meet it by my own strength alone. 

 

Why I Write About Everyday Life 

That is why practical application matters so much in Biblical Influence & Life Application. A biblical truth should extend beyond the page to how we speak to our spouses, family, friends, and co-workers; how we respond to disappointment, manage money, receive correction, and treat people who cannot give us anything in return. 

I want my writing to help make those connections clear. I do not want someone to finish reading with more religious vocabulary but with no clearer sense of how God’s Word speaks to the situation they will face when they put the article down. 

I especially hope to reach people who are tired, discouraged, or ashamed of struggling. I know what it is to question whether effort is getting anywhere. I know the frustration of looking at life and seeing one step forward followed by what feels like two steps back. That doesn’t mean I understand every reader’s experience, but it does mean I don’t want to speak from a distance, as though their questions belong only to them. 

My desire to serve did not begin with writing. As a younger man, I wanted to become a firefighter, and I eventually lived that dream, though briefly. I valued the work and enjoyed the recognition that came with it. Both belong in an honest account. Wanting to protect others was real; so was appreciating their praise. 

That mixture gives me something to examine in my writing now. Am I trying to help someone, prove something about myself, or both? I cannot assume that a worthwhile activity renders every motive behind it pure. At the same time, I need not condemn every desire to contribute or every pleasure in knowing that my work helped someone. 

 

What I Am Still Learning to Examine 

Writing about truth places on me the responsibility to examine my own conclusions, not merely the conclusions of others. 

When I say the past has shaped me, I need to be careful not to turn that into a claim that the past controls every remaining possibility. When I recognize God’s sovereignty, I must not assume I know exactly why He permitted a particular event. And when an opportunity closes, I may trust His care without declaring with certainty that I have identified His reason. 

The same care is needed when I speak about family. My adoptive parents failed me in serious ways. That is part of my experience. It does not establish that adoptive parents generally cannot love their children, nor does it establish that biological parenthood guarantees faithful love. My testimony is strongest when I tell the truth about what happened without asking that experience to prove more than it can. 

I also need to distinguish humility from treating myself as if I do not matter. Pointing readers toward Christ does not require pretending that my life, gifts, or voice have no value. It requires acknowledging the source of that value and using what I have responsibly. 

These are not corrections I can make once and then consider finished. They are part of learning to submit my thinking to Scripture, especially when a conclusion feels convincing because it has been familiar for many years. 

 

Trusting God Without Pretending the Waiting Is Easy 

Sometimes God seems silent, and circumstances remain unchanged. Prayer does not always provide the explanation I want, but it gives me a place to speak honestly before the One I trust. I do not need to mask disappointment as gratitude when I bring it to Him. I can acknowledge the disappointment while remembering that it is not all I have to say about His care. 

Nor does waiting mean doing nothing. Sometimes the faithful response is to pause, seek counsel, or gather information. At other times, I already know enough to apologize, honor a commitment, resist a harmful response, or complete the work before me. I am learning that uncertainty about the future does not relieve me of responsibility in the present. 

That understanding also shapes how I respond to criticism. Not all criticism is fair, but disagreement alone does not prove that I am misunderstood or opposed for my faith. I need to listen for what may be true, correct what needs correction, and remain clear about what Scripture teaches. Defending my pride and defending the faith are not the same task. 

For me, spiritual maturity is not about having no questions or reaching a point where nothing hurts. It means becoming more truthful, more teachable, and more willing to obey Christ without first requiring that life become easy. Success must therefore mean more than recognition, possessions, or the fulfillment of an old ambition. It must include faithfulness to the life and responsibilities I actually have. 

 

I Am Still Here, and I Am Not Giving Up on Him 

I haven’t reached a point where every wound is healed, or every response reflects the man I hope to become. Some days, my words reveal discouragement more readily than hope. Yet I continue writing, examining, praying, and returning to Scripture because I still believe Christ is worthy of my trust. 

My determination is to remain with Him to the end, come hell or high water. That is not a boast that I will never stumble or need anyone’s help. It is a statement of where I intend to turn when I do stumble. I am not seeking a life apart from Him, and I do not want disappointment to drive me to abandon the Savior in whom I have placed my hope. 

Peter’s question reflects that conviction: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). 

That is the hope beneath my writing. I cannot guarantee that my readers’ circumstances will improve as they hope. I can point them to Christ while acknowledging that I need Him just as much as they do. My life remains unfinished, yet I remain committed to following Him, receiving His correction, depending on His grace, and using the time I have to help others understand why He is worth trusting. 

 

Prayer

Father, thank You for loving me before I understood Your love and for saving me through Jesus Christ. You know what wounded me, where I have failed, and where I still need to grow. Help me receive Your correction, take responsibility for my choices, and treat others with the care I needed myself. Keep my writing honest, my motives open before You, and my hope rooted in Your promises. By Your grace, help me follow Christ to the end and point others toward the eternal life found in Him. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

 

Book: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Finding Unconditional Love in Christ 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQB4MJYW

 

Study Guide: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Companion Study Guide: Healing Generational Wounds Through 40 Devotions 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H33MHYMY

#TrustingChrist #God’sLove #SalvationbyGraceThroughFaith #SpiritualGrowth #ReceivingGod’sLove #HonestFaith #SpiritualMaturity #HopeinJesus #SpiritualGrowth #ThroughScripture #FindingWorthInChrist

Read the full reflection here: [Substack link] 

https://ammartinez.substack.com/p/2dbb0f47-d934-439e-a044-332f40286946?postPreview=free&updated=2026-10-26T21%3A45%3A56.705Z&audience=everyone&free_preview=false&freemail=true 

What Are the Downsides of Divorcing After 20 Years of Marriage?

The Cost of Divorce After Twenty + Years of Marriage 

 

Take your marriage covenant seriously as you face grief, family responsibilities, and difficult decisions with truth and compassion. 

“Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 

Matthew 19:6 (NKJV) 

 

Divorce after a long marriage can affect our shared life, well-being, children, finances, and future responsibilities. Scripture calls us to honor marriage, face wrongdoing honestly, protect those in danger, and seek wise counsel rather than decide in anger, fear, or wishful thinking. After twenty years or more, a marriage usually involves much more than two people sharing an address. There are familiar routines, family relationships, responsibilities, memories, and expectations about growing older together. When that marriage begins to unravel, we may find ourselves grieving not only what has happened but also the future we had hoped to share. 

The downsides can include emotional loss, financial strain, disruption of family life, and the difficult work of rebuilding daily routines. Yet these costs do not tell the whole story of every marriage. Some people face ordinary conflict that needs serious attention; others face betrayal, abandonment, or abuse. We must not use a list of divorce’s consequences to pressure someone to remain in danger. A faithful answer therefore requires both conviction and compassion. We should treat neither a long marriage nor the person suffering within it as disposable. God’s Word calls us to take the covenant seriously while telling the truth about what is happening within it. 

 

A Marriage Covenant Is More Than a Shared History 

Jesus begins His teaching on divorce by directing attention to God’s design for marriage. Husband and wife become one flesh, and He concludes, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Before considering what we might gain by leaving, we need to recognize the seriousness of the relationship we entered. Malachi 2:14 describes a wife as “your companion and your wife by covenant.” That language goes beyond legal paperwork. It speaks of faithfulness to a person whose life has become joined to ours. Twenty years do not make that commitment expire, though the passing years can reveal how far our conduct has drifted from what we promised. 

Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. This is not a license to demand submission while refusing kindness or accountability. Christ’s example exposes selfishness and calls us to sacrificial care. That standard should prompt us to examine our conduct before concluding that our spouse is simply the obstacle to our happiness. At the same time, honoring the covenant includes confronting conduct that violates it. Preserving the appearance of marriage while tolerating cruelty is not the same as nurturing the faithful love Scripture describes. 

 

Caring for Our Health While Carrying the Strain 

Because marriage touches so many areas of life, its breakdown can become a burden we carry throughout the day and into the night. Stress can disrupt sleep and contribute to tension, headaches, and other physical symptoms. These are reasons to take our well-being seriously, not proof that divorce inevitably causes a particular illness. Proverbs 12:25 observes, “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Scripture recognizes how heavily worry can weigh on us. This wisdom is not a medical diagnosis or a promise that encouraging words will resolve every difficulty. It reminds us that what we carry inwardly deserves care. 

That care includes bringing our burdens to God. First Peter 5:7 invites us to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. We can pray honestly while also protecting time for sleep, eating regularly, and seeking practical support from trusted people. If symptoms persist or interfere with daily life, professional care should complement spiritual support, not compete with it. Seeking help from a pastoral counselor or Christian clinician does not mean prayer has failed. We acknowledge our need rather than expecting ourselves to carry an overwhelming situation without help. 

 

Grieving the Marriage Without Losing Our Worth 

Alongside that strain, we may grieve the loss of companionship, familiar roles, and the life we expected. Separation can bring anger, anxiety, and sorrow, sometimes in unexpected waves. Our reactions need not follow a neat sequence before we can seek support. Amid that grief, Psalm 34:18 speaks tenderly: “The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart.” We need not minimize the loss to approach Him. We can mourn a marriage, acknowledge relief from conflict, regret our own choices, and still have questions about what comes next. 

The marriage mattered, but our worth is not defined by its condition. Psalm 139:13-16 reminds us of God’s intimate knowledge of our lives, while 2 Corinthians 5:17 directs those who belong to Christ to their identity in Him. A change in marital status does not strip our human dignity or place us beyond His mercy. Yet that assurance does not erase responsibility. Where we have sinned, we need repentance; where we have been wronged, we need room to tell the truth. Neither response requires us to cast our entire lives as failures. Lamentations 3:22-23 points us toward the Lord’s unfailing compassion, renewed each morning. We can receive that mercy without demanding that healing happen on a schedule. 

 

Remembering That Our Children Have Their Own Experience 

As we face our grief, we also need to make room for our children’s experiences. Children’s responses vary, and divorce alone does not determine their future. Reducing conflict and maintaining safe, supportive parental involvement in our children’s lives matters. This means we should avoid two assumptions: that children will inevitably be damaged for life or that they will be unaffected because they seem calm. We need to listen rather than assume we know how they feel. 

The same consideration applies to adult children. Being grown does not mean they have no attachment to family traditions or no questions about what has changed. They may have households of their own, but we should not assume they can therefore carry ours. They are not responsible for repairing the marriage or deciding which parent deserves their loyalty. Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers not to provoke their children to wrath, and Philippians 2:4 calls us to consider others’ interests. Applied here, these passages challenge us to notice what our children need rather than seeking their agreement with our grievances. We can give truthful, age-appropriate explanations without turning them into judges, messengers, or confidants about intimate marital details. 

 

Facing Financial Changes Without Using Money as a Weapon 

While family relationships require attention, practical responsibilities cannot be postponed indefinitely. A separation may mean supporting two households, reviewing shared obligations, and reconsidering retirement plans. The financial impact varies from family to family, but later-life divorce can create significant setbacks. These concerns warrant careful preparation, not threats or assumptions. We need an accurate understanding of income, expenses, debts, and available resources. Qualified local legal and financial advice can help clarify obligations that Scripture does not specify in legal detail. 

Scripture speaks clearly to our character in those decisions. First Timothy 5:8 emphasizes caring for our household, and Proverbs 3:27 warns against withholding good when we can act. The end of a marriage does not give us permission to hide resources, use support as leverage, or ignore legitimate responsibilities. Fairness also requires recognizing contributions that may not appear on a paycheck, including years of caregiving and work within the home. We should not pretend those contributions were worthless when considering the life we built together. Luke 12:15 warns that life does not consist in the abundance of possessions. That warning does not make financial security unimportant; it keeps money from becoming an instrument of revenge. We can protect our rights and meet our responsibilities without making another person’s suffering our goal. 

 

Parenting Responsibilities Continue After Separation 

Financial agreements address only part of what comes next. When children are involved, separation also requires us to consider how we will communicate, keep commitments, and respond when disagreements arise. Proverbs 15:1 teaches, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This guides our conduct, not a guarantee that gentleness will control someone else’s response. We can choose measured words while recognizing when a conversation needs limits or qualified assistance. In ordinary disagreements, practical faithfulness may involve clearly confirming arrangements, keeping promises, and addressing concerns directly with the appropriate adult. 

Our children should not have to carry angry messages or negotiate the next exchange between households. Ephesians 4:31-32 calls us away from bitterness, malice, and harmful speech toward kindness and forgiveness. Applying that instruction does not require pretending wrongdoing never occurred. It requires refusing to make our children the audience for our desire to punish the other parent. When abuse is present, safety planning and professional guidance take priority over an ideal of friendly cooperation. Respectful behavior does not require unrestricted contact, and forgiveness does not automatically restore trust or access. We can pursue peace without denying the need for protection. 

 

Distinguishing Repairable Conflict from Serious Harm 

These responsibilities make it essential to understand the specific marital difficulty we face. Disappointment, poor communication, and longstanding resentment deserve attention, but they are distinct from coercion, violence, deliberate abandonment, or repeated betrayal. Matthew 19:9 addresses sexual immorality, while 1 Corinthians 7:15 addresses an unbelieving spouse’s departure. Christian traditions differ on divorce, remarriage, and how these passages apply in specific circumstances. We should study them carefully with trustworthy pastoral counsel rather than rush to a verdict in every situation. 

What must not remain unclear is that abuse violates the care marriage requires. Ephesians 5:28-29 describes loving and nourishing one’s spouse, not terrorizing or controlling that person. Someone in danger does not need to complete a church process before seeking safety or emergency help. Joint counseling is not the appropriate starting point when abuse is active. Confidential support from an abuse-informed professional or advocate is safer than assuming a shared counseling session will resolve coercion. Where reconciliation is possible, it requires truth, accountability, and sustained change. An apology may begin that work, but it cannot substitute for it. Nor can one spouse accomplish reconciliation through patience while the other continues harmful behavior. Honoring marriage requires more than asking the wounded person to endure. 

 

Seeking Wisdom Before Making a Life-Changing Decision 

Once safety is addressed, we can consider next steps through prayer and honest counsel. James 1:5 invites us to ask God for wisdom, and Psalm 139:23-24 offers language for asking Him to search our hearts. That examination should be specific. We may need to acknowledge harsh speech, secrecy, selfishness, or neglected responsibilities. But self-examination is not an invitation to accept blame for another person’s abuse. We must distinguish our own conduct from what someone else chose to do. 

Proverbs 15:22 reminds us that counsel strengthens plans. A trustworthy pastor, a qualified counselor, and an appropriate legal adviser serve different purposes; together, they can help us understand concerns we should not face alone. Good counsel listens to the actual circumstances rather than insisting on a predetermined outcome. When the relationship is safe, and both spouses are willing, serious repair efforts deserve consideration. That may include difficult conversations, individual growth, and qualified marriage counseling. When betrayal or abandonment is involved, the work may also include setting clear boundaries and carefully considering biblical and legal questions. We should not decide simply because leaving looks easier, nor remain simply because the consequences of leaving frighten us. The aim is to respond truthfully before God, taking the covenant, the people involved, and the actual circumstances seriously. 

 

Taking the Next Step with Truth and Care 

Name the Situation Honestly 

We need more than the statement that we are unhappy. Naming the actual pattern helps us seek appropriate help without minimizing danger or treating every disagreement as hopeless. 

Separate What We Control from What We Cannot 

We can confess our wrongs, seek counsel, and change our conduct. We cannot produce another person’s repentance or guarantee reconciliation through our effort alone. 

Protect Those Who Depend on Us 

Children, financial responsibilities, and safety deserve deliberate attention. Our pain is real, but it must not become permission to neglect or manipulate others. 

Receive Christ’s Invitation to Rest 

Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). We can come before every decision is settled. His invitation gives us a place to bring the burden, not a reason to avoid the help we need. 

 

Prayer 

Father, You know the history, hurt, and unanswered questions in every marriage. Teach us to honor our commitments without concealing wrongdoing or ignoring danger. Search our hearts, lead us to repentance for our sins, and protect those who are being harmed. Give us wisdom for our children, integrity in our finances, and courage to accept trustworthy help. Where reconciliation is possible, nurture genuine change and renewed love. Where a marriage has ended, sustain us through grief and guide us into faithful living. Thank You that Christ’s mercy remains our hope. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

 

The following links reference premarital counseling to seeking to restore broken marriages. They are immensely helpful, and you will find the counselors compassionate and insightful, and I've been down that road, heart’s attitude. 

You can reach a marriage counselor at 1-866-862-3241.

Before Marriage https://www.focusonthefamily.com/before-marriage/

Healthy Marriage https://www.focusonthefamily.com/healthy-marriage/

Save my Marriage https://www.focusonthefamily.com/save-my-marriage/

Marriage Ministry https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage-ministry/

Marriage Church Events https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/events/

 

Read the full reflection here: [Substack link] 

https://ammartinez.substack.com/p/what-are-the-downsides-of-divorcing?r=1smlyb&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

 

Book: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Finding Unconditional Love in Christ 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQB4MJYW

 

Study Guide: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Companion Study Guide: Healing Generational Wounds Through 40 Devotions https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H33MHYMY 

What Are the Downsides of Divorcing After 20 Years of Marriage? 

A biblical look at the costs, responsibilities, and difficult decisions 

that come with ending a long marriage.

How Can We Remain Faithful When We Cannot See What Comes Next? Trusting God with tomorrow while following Christ today.

God’s Promises and Our Faithfulness 

Part Three: Faithfulness, Spiritual Maturity, 

and the Uncertain Future 

How Can We Remain Faithful When We Cannot See What Comes Next? 

We can trust God with tomorrow while allowing His Word to guide our choices 

and shape our character today. 

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV) 

We do not need to understand everything God allows or know every detail of our future to follow Christ faithfully. We can depend on His character, take responsibility for our choices, and let His Word shape who we are becoming. 

Uncertainty can wear us down. We may be willing to face a difficult season yet still wish we knew how long it would last or what would be waiting on the other side. Sometimes the hardest part is not today’s responsibility but the questions we carry about tomorrow. Our Father knows those concerns. Trusting Him does not require us to hide them or pretend nothing hurts. It means bringing our concerns to Him without making a full explanation a condition of our obedience. Proverbs 3:5-6 invites us to trust the Lord with our whole heart. We still think, plan, ask questions, and seek counsel. But our understanding is not the final authority. God is. We acknowledge Him by allowing His Word to govern our decisions, even those we must make before the future becomes clear. 

 

We Can Trust God Before We Understand His Ways 

We naturally ask why when something painful happens. Scripture does not shame us for bringing honest questions to God. Yet there is a difference between asking our Father for understanding and refusing to trust Him until He explains everything. We can bring Him our questions while continuing to rely on what He has already told us. 

Paul demonstrated this trust during the storm when he declared, “I believe God that it will be just as it was told me” (Acts 27:25). He had received a promise about the people aboard the ship, but not an explanation of every hardship along the way. Although our circumstances are different, his response helps us understand that we can trust what God has revealed without pretending to understand what He has not revealed. 

For us, that trust rests in assurances such as His promise, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). These words may not explain why we are hurting, but they assure us that we are not facing our pain without our Father’s care. Because He has not abandoned us, we can bring Him our fears, needs, and unanswered questions. Philippians 4:6-7 invites us to do this with thanksgiving, promising that His peace, which “surpasses all understanding,” will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. We do not need to fully understand our situation before receiving His care within it. 

As we learn to rest in that care, we also learn to distinguish what remains unknown from what God has already made clear. Deuteronomy 29:29 reminds us that the secret things belong to Him, while His revealed truth guides our obedience. We may not know why a door closed, but we can still respond with truthfulness, kindness, and prayer. This is part of what it means to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). We are not ignoring facts or denying our pain. We are trusting our Father enough to follow His Word even when we cannot yet see what He is doing. 

 

God Can Bring Good Without Calling Evil Good 

As we learn to trust God with what we do not understand, we may still struggle with the harm caused by our own failures or someone else’s wrongdoing. How can we believe He is working for good when what happened was clearly wrong? Joseph’s response to his brothers shows that both realities can be true: “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). Joseph did not excuse their cruelty or suggest their actions were acceptable. He recognized that, even through the harm they intended, God had worked to preserve life. 

We see this more clearly at the cross. Acts 2:23-24 portrays Jesus’ death as part of God’s determined purpose while holding those who crucified Him accountable for their wicked actions. Their wrongdoing did not prevent God from accomplishing our salvation through Christ’s death and resurrection, nor did His saving purpose make their wrongdoing right. Although we cannot explain every detail of how God accomplishes His purposes, we can trust His goodness without denying human responsibility. As James 1:13 reminds us, God does not tempt anyone to evil. 

That distinction matters deeply when we have been wounded. We need not call injustice good to believe that God can bring good from it. Neither must we deny what happened, excuse the person responsible, nor expose ourselves to further harm. When abuse or danger is involved, seeking safety and appropriate pastoral, professional, or legal help is consistent with trusting God and taking wrongdoing seriously. 

The same truth calls us to honesty when we are the ones who have caused harm. We cannot use God’s ability to bring good as an excuse for our choices. Instead, trusting His mercy should prompt us to confess our sin, turn from it, and repair the harm we can. Romans 8:28 gives us hope as we take those steps: God is still able to work for good in the lives of those who love Him. His promise does not remove the need for repentance or justice. It assures us that neither the wrong we have suffered nor the wrong we have committed places us beyond His power to bring healing and change. 

 

Who We Are Becoming Matters More Than Getting Our Own Way 

As we grow more confident that God remains at work, our attention can shift from whether our circumstances will improve to what our responses reveal about our hearts and what our Father is teaching us. Romans 8:29 helps us understand His purpose: that we be “conformed to the image of His Son.” He cares about our needs, but His love extends beyond arranging the life we would have chosen. He is also shaping us to become more like Jesus in the life we are living. 

That work often touches the ordinary moments we might overlook. While we are concentrating on where we want to go, we may need to learn patience with the person beside us. While we are hoping for recognition, Scripture may be teaching us to serve without seeking applause. Even as we pray for an easier situation, we may need His grace to speak more gently within it. These opportunities do not make our difficulties less painful, but they help us recognize that growth can occur before our circumstances change. 

Romans 5:3-5 describes this growth as tribulation producing perseverance, perseverance developing character, and character strengthening hope. James 1:2-4 similarly teaches that the testing of our faith produces patience. Neither passage asks us to enjoy being hurt. Instead, they assure us that hardship need not be wasted as we continue trusting and obeying God. Hebrews 12:11 acknowledges the pain of His discipline while pointing to the “peaceable fruit of righteousness” it produces in those trained by it. We can hold on to that hope without dismissing anyone’s tears or claiming to know why a particular suffering occurred. 

This emphasis on growth does not mean we must abandon every ambition. It means our ambitions must remain submitted to Christ. In Philippians 3:7-14, Paul continued pressing toward the goal, knowing that knowing Christ mattered more to him than the achievements he once treasured. His example helps us put our own plans in their proper place: they should support our walk with the Lord, never require us to compromise it. 

As our priorities shift, we may become more aware of how much growth we still need. Yet Philippians 1:6 reminds us that God continues the good work He began. We are not forgotten because we are unfinished. We can keep receiving His correction, practicing what His Word teaches, and trusting Him to help us become more like Christ, even as we wait for other things to change. 

 

We Can Take the Next Faithful Step Without Seeing the Whole Journey 

God’s ongoing work in us often unfolds through ordinary decisions, including those we must make without knowing how everything will turn out. We may wish we could see the next ten years, but we do not need that knowledge to obey what He has made clear today. Hebrews 11:8 tells us that Abraham responded to God’s call and went out “not knowing where he was going.” His confidence rested in the God who called him, not in knowing every detail of the journey. 

Abraham’s example encourages us to trust God, but it does not mean every strong feeling is His direction. For us, the next faithful step begins with what Scripture teaches. When we are unsure how to apply that teaching to a decision, James 1:5 invites us to ask God for wisdom. We can then gather information, seek trustworthy counsel, and develop a thoughtful plan, remembering Proverbs 16:9: “A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.” 

Planning and trusting God go together. We take our responsibilities seriously while remaining open to changing direction, recognizing that our plans cannot guarantee an outcome. James 4:15 captures this dependence: “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” These words are more than a phrase added to our intentions. They express our willingness to place those intentions under His authority because our lives belong to Him. 

Even with that willingness, we may feel weary at the thought of taking another step. Isaiah 40:29 meets us there with the assurance, “He gives power to the weak.” We do not have to hide our limitations or push ourselves beyond every limit to prove our faith. We can accept help, rest when needed, and rely on the strength God supplies as we face our responsibility. 

Sometimes that responsibility means keeping an honest commitment, having a necessary conversation, or completing today’s work without knowing what tomorrow will bring. Such obedience may attract little attention, yet it still requires courage. We can take the next faithful step, not because we are certain of the outcome, but because we are learning to trust the One who directs our steps. 

 

Today’s Feelings Should Not Decide Tomorrow’s Commitments 

As we learn to take the next faithful step, we also need to recognize that our desires can change. What feels urgent today may look different after prayer, rest, more information, or wise counsel. Our feelings deserve attention, but they need the guidance of God’s Word. Anger, excitement, fear, or disappointment can influence how we see a situation without giving us a clear understanding of what to do. 

That is why Proverbs 14:15 reminds us, “The prudent considers well his steps,” while Proverbs 19:2 warns against acting in haste without knowledge. Together, these passages encourage us to pause long enough to consider what a choice may cost, whom it may affect, and whether it aligns with Scripture. Sometimes that pause helps us recognize how much we still need to understand before committing. 

Seeking wise counsel can help us gain that understanding. “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established” (Proverbs 15:22). We are not handing over our responsibility when we ask for guidance. We are acknowledging that another person may recognize a concern or consequence we have overlooked. Their counsel can help us consider not only what we want to begin but also what we will need to carry through. 

In Luke 14:28-30, Jesus emphasized the seriousness of commitment by using the example of calculating a building’s cost to illustrate the demands of following Him. His illustration reminds us to look beyond the desire to begin and consider what continuing will require. Galatians 6:7 reinforces the importance of our choices by warning that we reap what we sow. The feeling that prompts a decision may pass, but its consequences remain, so we must be careful not to make lasting commitments to escape temporary discomfort. 

Yet thoughtful consideration must not become an excuse to postpone what God has already made clear. James 4:17 warns against knowing the good we ought to do and failing to do it. We may need more time before making a major commitment, but we do not need more time to decide whether honesty, kindness, or repentance matters. God’s wisdom helps us recognize when to pause and seek understanding and when to act on the truth we already know. 

 

Faithfulness Means Trusting God, Accepting Responsibility, and Living for Eternity 

These truths converge in a simple calling: we entrust the future to God while responding faithfully to Him today. Doing so requires distinguishing between trusting His care and assuming He will protect every choice we make. In Matthew 4:5-7, Satan used Scripture about divine protection to tempt Jesus to throw Himself from the temple. Jesus refused, answering, “You shall not tempt the LORD your God.” He did not need to create danger to prove His Father’s faithfulness. Neither should we use God’s promises to justify recklessness, excuse disobedience, or demand the outcome we prefer. 

Yet refusing to act until every uncertainty disappears is not the answer either. Ecclesiastes 11:4-6 warns that waiting for perfect conditions can keep us from sowing at all. We are called to work faithfully, even when we do not know which effort will prosper. Rather than choosing between careless action and fearful inaction, we can move forward thoughtfully, depending on God and accepting the responsibilities He has placed before us. 

That dependence includes recognizing the source of our desire and strength to obey. Philippians 2:12-13 calls us to work out our salvation while assuring us that God works within us “both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” We are not trying to save ourselves by effort. As Ephesians 2:8-10 makes clear, salvation is God’s gift, received through faith rather than earned by works. Having saved us by His grace, He has created us in Christ for good works. Our obedience grows out of what He has done for us and what He continues to do within us. 

Because we belong to Him, our priorities must also be shaped by His purposes. Jesus calls us to seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33). Our daily needs matter to our Father, but meeting them cannot become the sole focus of our lives. First John 2:17 helps us see beyond the immediate moment: the world and its desires are passing away, while the one who does God’s will abides forever. Therefore, what we want today needs to be considered in light of what will matter eternally. 

Second Corinthians 5:9-10 brings an eternal perspective to our daily choices, reminding us that we will answer to Christ for how we have lived. Our words, commitments, and treatment of others matter to Him, even when the results seem small or remain unseen. We cannot control tomorrow, but we are not helpless today. Through the grace God supplies, we can honor Him in the responsibilities before us and trust Him with what lies beyond our sight. 

 

Paul’s Faith Became Care for Others 

Paul’s conduct in Acts 27 gives this calling a human face. While everyone was still in danger, he encouraged them to eat, took bread, and gave thanks to God (Acts 27:33-36). He did not wait until he reached shore to be useful to those around him. His confidence in God found expression in practical care. Our circumstances may remain unresolved as well. Yet someone beside us may still need patience, encouragement, food, or help with a responsibility. The future we cannot control does not erase the love we can offer today. 

 

Practicing Faithfulness Where We Are 

Bring Our Questions Without Withholding Our Trust 

We can tell God what we do not understand and ask for help. Honest prayer makes room for sorrow while keeping us facing our Father. 

Let Scripture Examine Our Next Decision 

Before acting, we need to consider whether a choice honors Christ, accepts responsibility, and cares for those it affects. A desired outcome does not make an improper means acceptable. 

Receive Help Without Shame 

Wise counsel, practical support, and appropriate professional care can help us respond faithfully. We do not demonstrate trust by refusing all forms of assistance. 

Practice the Good Already Within Reach 

We may not know our assignment for next season. We can still tell the truth, keep a promise, confess a wrong, and show mercy. Small acts of obedience matter to the Lord. 

 

Prayer

Father, thank You that our future is not hidden from You, even when it is hidden from us. Through Jesus, You have granted forgiveness and the hope of eternal life. Your Spirit is at work in us now, teaching us to trust, obey, and grow more like Christ. Help us bring our questions honestly, resist careless choices, and take responsibility for our wrongs. Heal what has been wounded, guide our decisions, and give us courage for today’s responsibilities. Keep our desires submitted to Your Word and our hope fixed on the life You have promised. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

 

#TrustInGod #FaithInChrist #BiblicalWisdom #ChristianIntegrity #FaithfulLiving #ChristianEncouragement #GrowingInChrist #EternalHope #FaithfulnessToChrist #FaithfulLiving 

 

Read the full reflection here: [Substack link] 

https://ammartinez.substack.com/p/how-can-we-remain-faithful-when-we?r=1smlyb&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

 

Book: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Finding Unconditional Love in Christ 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQB4MJYW

 

Study Guide: I Cannot Give You What I Do Not Have: Companion Study Guide: Healing Generational Wounds Through 40 Devotions https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H33MHYMY

Trusting God, Uncertain Future, Spiritual Maturity, Biblical Decision Making, Personal Responsibility, Christlike Character, Eternal Perspective.

Trust His character, accept our responsibilities, and choose what helps us grow in Christ. Learn how Scripture guides us to trust God with an uncertain future, make wise choices, accept responsibility, and grow more like Christ.