Revelation 3:12-13 As for The One Who Conquers, I Will Make Him a Pillar in The Temple of My God

¹²“As for the one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God; he will be secure and will go out no more; and I will write my God’s Name on him, and he will be a citizen in the city of my God—the New Jerusalem, coming down from heaven from my God; and he will have my new Name inscribed upon him.

¹³“Let all who can hear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches.^[1]

 

6.         The Promise: to the Overcomers (Re. 3:12–13).[2]
G.  The Message to Philadelphia: The Church That Is Faithful & Alive, Revelation 3:7–13
1.   The recipients a.   The messenger of the church b.   The Philadelphian church 2.   The speaker: Jesus	7 And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write, these things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth;
3.   The commendation a.   They had made great use of the open door of evangelism & missions b.   They had kept Christ’s Word c.   They had not denied the Lord’s name	8 I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.
4.   The two great hopes a.   There will be great vindication: The persecutors of the believers will either be saved or judged	9 Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.
b.   There will be great deliverance: From the hour of trial, a period of great tribulation coming upon the earth	10 Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth.
5.   The counsel: Christ is coming soon; therefore, hold fast	11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
6.   The Promise: To the Overcomers a.   Will be Made a Permanent Part of God’s House b.   Will Receive Security c.   Will Receive God’s Name, Belonging to Him d.   Will Receive the Name, be Made Citizens of, God’s City e.   Will Receive the Lord’s New Name, Known Only to God	12 Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name. 13 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.[3]

10. The Conqueror (Revelation 3:12)

“Him that overcometh” (Revelation 3:12). Again, as in each of the letters to the churches, is a message of encouragement to the overcomer—the one who swims against the current, who overcomes the evil prevalent in his day, who stands against the evil in his church, who refuses to go along with the evil crowd. He is the conqueror and will be duly rewarded. The reward in this text is basically twofold.

• The Pillar for the Conqueror. “Will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out” (Revelation 3:12). The figure of the pillar in God’s temple shows at least two things about the reward for the overcomer. First, power. “Pillar.” A pillar holds up part of a building. When we think of a pillar, we think of strength and of power. God’s people will have power in eternity. They will help Christ rule in the millennium. Second, permanence. A pillar in a building is permanent. Heaven is permanent; earth is temporary. God’s people will be rewarded in heaven where the rewards are permanent unlike earthly rewards.

• The Prestige for the Conqueror. “I will write upon him the name of my God … the name of the city of my God … my new name” (Revelation 3:12). The names of God and Christ and the city of God written on the believer makes the overcomer a person of importance in eternity. The world despises the overcomer, but in eternity the overcomer will have written on him the important names of eternity, and they will be written on him by none other than Jesus Christ. All of this will give the overcomer much prestige/honor, something he did not have on earth.

11. The Charge (Revelation 3:13)

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches” (Revelation 3:13). This charge, which is given to all the churches, is a charge of stewardship that involves three things.

The Capacity to Hear. “He that hath an ear.” Use the ability, assets, advantages given you by God to honor God.

The Character of Hearing. “Let him hear.” Be attentive, interested, respectful.

The Communication for Hearing. “What the Spirit saith.” “What the Spirit saith” is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17). Too many use their ears only to hear defiling things.^[4] 

6 (Re. 3:12–13) Overcomers—Promises: there are the promises to the overcomer. The churches and believers who remain alive and faithful to Christ have five wonderful promises. They shall receive five glorious things. 

1.   They Will Be Made a Pillar in The Temple of God. This means that they will become a permanent part of God’s house, of the eternal worship and service of heaven. And they will be a vital part, a pillar. The pillar is a symbol of …

•     Strength

•     Support

•     Durability

•     Permanence

•     Immortality

•     A Monument

“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?” (1 Co. 3:16).

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” (1 Co. 6:19).

“And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people” (2 Co. 6:16).

“And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; in whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto a holy temple in the Lord: in whom ye also are builded together for a habitation of God through the Spirit” (Ep. 2:20–22).

“Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ” (1 Pe. 2:5).

2. They Will Receive Security; they will never again have to go in or out of the city in order to be safe. They will be free from this sinful and corruptible world, free to live in heaven with God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. And they shall be perfected forever and ever.

“I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day” (2 Tim. 1:12).

“Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all of them also that love his appearing” (2 Tim. 4:8).

“Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time” (1 Pe. 1:5).

“Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust” (2 Pe. 1:4).

“And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life” (1 Jn. 2:25).

“Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever” (Jude 24–25).

3. They Will Receive God’s Name. This is a symbol of possession and of belonging. The believer will belong to God in an absolute and perfect sense. Others can lay claim to our lives while upon this earth. They can lay claim upon our time and energy, and some can even enslave us. But not in heaven. The name of God will be written upon us, and we will be marked forever as belonging to God. We will belong to Him totally and absolutely. Neither man nor Satan will ever again be able to touch or mark us.

“Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off” (Is. 56:5).

“And the Gentiles shall see thy righteousness, and all kings thy glory: and thou shalt be called by a new name, which the mouth of the Lord shall name” (Is. 62:2).

“And ye [the rebellious people] shall leave your name for a curse unto my chosen: for the Lord god shall slay thee and call his servants by another name” (Is. 65:15).

“And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch” (Ac. 11:26).

“Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name” (Re. 3:12).

4. They Will Receive the Name of The City of God, The New Jerusalem. They will become the citizens of the new Jerusalem, of the capital of the new heavens and earth.

“But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all” (Ga. 4:26).

“For our conversation [citizenship] is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Ph. 3:20).

“But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels” (He. 12:22).

“But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness, looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat? Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness” (2 Pe. 3:10–13).

“And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, write for these words are true and faithful” (Re. 21:1–5).

5. They Will Receive the Lord’s New Name. What will this new name be? No one knows but God Himself, and He has not yet revealed it.

“His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself” (Re. 19:12).

This much we know when Christ comes in all His majesty and glory and conquers all, we shall be marked as His servants and share in His glorious triumph. He will gain the victory for us, the victory over all enemies including the most terrible enemy of all—death and hell.

“And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you” (Ro. 16:20).

“To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne” (Re. 3:21).

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Re. 21:4).^[5] 

“All who are victorious will become pillars in the Temple of my God, and they will never have to leave it. And I will write my God’s name on them, and they will be citizens in the city of my God—the new Jerusalem that comes down from heaven from my God. And they will have my new name inscribed upon them.” ^{3:12 NLT.}

The believers who are victorious and remain faithful to the end receive the promise to become pillars in the Temple of my God. The word “pillars” symbolizes permanence and stability. Philadelphia was constantly threatened by earthquakes. Often experiencing tremors, the people would evacuate the city and stay in temporary dwellings in the rural areas. Sometimes the pillars would be the only part of a building left standing after an earthquake. This permanence is further stressed in the next phrase, “they will never have to leave it.”

Christ also gives these victorious believers three further promises:

1.   He will write … God’s name on them.

2.   They will be citizens in … the new Jerusalem.

3.   They will have Christ’s new name inscribed upon them.

This “new name” of Christ has not been revealed, but those who are victorious and persevere will have this new name inscribed upon them. For more on the new Jerusalem, see Re. 21:2.

This threefold promise pictures believers belonging to God, having citizenship in heaven, and having a special relationship with Christ. The new Jerusalem is the future dwelling of the people of God (Re. 21:2). They will be citizens in God’s future kingdom. Everything will be new, pure, and secure. 

“Anyone who is willing to hear should listen to the Spirit and understand what the Spirit is saying to the churches.” ^{3:13 NLT.}

This closing is the same as for the letters to the other churches: all should listen to the Spirit and understand what is being said.^[6]

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 Revelation 3:12-13 As for The One Who Conquers, I Will Make Him a Pillar in The Temple of My God

Pics Provided by Bing Coolest 4K HD Scenery Pics of All Time

^[1] Taylor, Kenneth Nathaniel. 1997. The Living Bible, Paraphrased. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House.

^[2] Leadership Ministries Worldwide. 1996. Revelation. The Preacher’s Outline & Sermon Bible. Chattanooga, TN: Leadership Ministries Worldwide.

^[3] Leadership Ministries Worldwide. 1996. Revelation. The Preacher’s Outline & Sermon Bible. Chattanooga, TN: Leadership Ministries Worldwide.

^[4] Butler, John G. 2010. Analytical Bible Expositor: Revelation. Clinton, IA: LBC Publications.

^[5] Leadership Ministries Worldwide. 1996. Revelation. The Preacher’s Outline & Sermon Bible. Chattanooga, TN: Leadership Ministries Worldwide.

^[6] Barton, Bruce B. 2000. Revelation. Edited by Grant R. Osborne. Life Application Bible Commentary. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

Instruments In the Redeemer’s Hands Chapter 11 "The Goals of Speaking the Truth in Love" Discussion Questions 1-11

Instruments

in the Redeemer’s

Hands

How to Help Others Change   

Paul David Tripp

Timothy S. Lane, Contributor

Chapter 11 

The Goals of Speaking the Truth in Love

1. Review the story of Sally. With what mindset did she come to the meeting? Did Tripp’s approach cause change or make her realize he had a different motive? Pg 199 

2. How is the word “Rebuke” used in the Bible? Pg 200. 

3. Why should we confront one another? Matt 22:37 Pg 200-201. 

4. Why do we avoid confrontation? Pg 201 

5. What should not and what should be our motivation for confrontation? Pg 201. 

a.      Should not be: Our motivation should not be we are afraid to risk the relationship, avoid personal sacrifice, complications that confrontations may involve or the desire for the love, peace, respect, and appreciation we receive from the relationship. 

b.      Should be: Our motivation should be that we love God above all else, therefore, confrontation is an extension and expression of that love. 

6. The second commandment motivates biblical rebuke. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matt 22:39. How is this opposite in our culture in the world today? 

7. What should the model of confrontation be in our relationships? Pg 202-204. 

8. In Leviticus 19:15-18 we see the contrast between love and hatred. Love is when we speak honest rebuke, and hatred is when we fail to speak. What are some forms of subtle and passive hatred? Pg 205-206. 

What are some forms of active hatred? Pg 206-207. 

9. Failure to make loving rebuke opens the door to what? Pg 208. 

10. A humble lifestyle of rebuke protects us from whom? Pg 208. 

a.      Explain: 

11. Confrontation does not force a person to deal with you but places him/her before the Lord. How do we accomplish this in our conversations with that person?

Personal: 

Do I confront others as an ambassador of Christ, or do I tend to advance my own opinion? 

Think of a time in your life (1) when you were rebuked and (2) when you had to rebuke someone else. How well did these encounters fulfill godly goals?

 

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1. Review The Story of Sally. With What Mind Set Did She Come to The Meeting? Did Tripp’s Approach Cause Change or Make Her Realize He Had a Different Motive? Pg 199.

P 199

11

The Goals of Speaking the Truth in Love

From the moment she entered my office, it was clear that Sally was ready for a fight. She glared her way into the room and made tense small talk with me until I prayed. I was the principal of the Christian school her daughter attended, and I had asked Sally and her husband to come and talk about the difficulties her daughter was having at school. I was there as a friend and ally. I was actually quite fond of her daughter, and I was concerned that somehow we were missing an opportunity to help her.

I made my first statement, trying to be affirming and warm as I described the difficulties we were experiencing. To my surprise, Sally yelled back at me, accusing me of not loving her daughter and wanting only to rid the school of its “problems.” I tried again to quietly share my love and concern, only to have Sally yell at me again, this time sitting forward in her seat and moving closer to my desk. I made one more attempt to help her understand that I was not accusing her daughter (or Sally herself) of anything; my purpose was to share my concerns and look for solutions. As she began to shout a third time, Sally’s husband grabbed her knee and said, “Dear, he is not fighting with you.”

Sally looked at me for a moment as if she were disoriented. She mumbled, “I’m sorry. I just hate these kinds of meetings. I was sure you were going to tell us what bad parents we are.” Perhaps Sally isn’t too unusual. Perhaps many of us approach moments of truth speaking with fear and dread. Perhaps for many of us, words like confrontation and rebuke conjure up images that look like anything but love. Sally had obviously been hurt in previous confrontations and, this time, had been prepared to defend herself. 

2. How Is the Word “Rebuke” Used in The Bible? Pg 200.

P 200

Rebuke is the word the Bible uses for bringing truth to where change is needed, yet most of us don’t react positively when we hear it. For example, if I called you one night and said that I would like to come over the next morning to rebuke you, how would you respond? Would you run to a friend and say, “The most wonderful thing is going to happen to me tomorrow! Paul is coming over to rebuke me. I can’t wait! It has been so long since I’ve been rebuked.” That would not likely be your reaction. Many of us would rather go to the dentist and be drilled without Novocain. When we think of rebuke, we think of harsh words, red faces, ultimatums, and threats. We don’t think of an act of patience and committed love. So it is important to consider what a biblical model of rebuke looks like. It is part of the Speak component of personal ministry, and we need to know what “speaking the truth in love” is all about.

Leviticus 19:15–18 discusses God’s intentions for this aspect of relationships and personal ministry.

Ø  Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great but judge your neighbor fairly.

Ø  Do not go about spreading slander among your people.

Ø  Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord.

Ø  Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.

Ø  Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

The principles of this passage provide a starting point for a biblical understanding of confrontation.

3. Why Should We Confront One Another? Matt 22:37 Pg 200-201. 

4. Why Do We Avoid Confrontation? Pg 201. 

5. What Should Not and What Should Be Our Motivation for Confrontation? Pg 201.

a.      Should Not Be: Our motivation should not be we are afraid to risk the relationship, avoid personal sacrifice, complications that confrontations may involve, or the desire for the love, peace, respect, and appreciation we receive from the relationship.

b.      Should Be: Our motivation should be that we love God above all else; therefore, confrontation is an extension and expression of that love. 

P 201

Confrontation is rooted in a submission to the First Great Command. This command calls us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matt. 22:37). Twice the Leviticus passage says, “I am the Lord.” God intends confrontation to be an expression of our submission to Him in our relationships with others. From God’s perspective, the only reason we confront one another is that we love the Lord and want to obey him. Our failure to confront one another biblically must be seen for what it is: something rooted in our tendency to run after god-replacements. We confront unbiblically (or not at all) because we love something else more than God. Perhaps we love our relationship with this person so much that we don’t want to risk it. Perhaps we prefer to avoid the personal sacrifice and complications that confrontation may involve. Perhaps we love peace, respect, and appreciation more than we should. Here is the principle: To the degree that we give the love of our hearts to someone or something else, to that degree we lose our primary motive to confront. But if we love God above all else, confrontation is an extension and expression of that love.

First John teaches us (3:11–20; 4:7–21) that one of the most reliable indicators of our love for God is the quality of our love for our neighbor. The foundation of the Second Great Command is the First Great Command—you cannot love your neighbor as yourself if you do not first love God above all else. Our willingness to gossip, to live in anger, and trim the truth reveals something deeper than a lack of love for people. It exposes a lack of love for God. We no longer serve as his ambassadors in relationships but use them for our own purposes. They become places where our needs can be met. Then, because we are afraid to lose what we crave, we live in silence as our neighbor steps outside God’s boundaries.

Love for God is the only reliable foundation for a ministry of truth-speaking. Any other motivation distorts the process. We cannot come in anger, frustration, or a spirit of vengeance. We come because we love God and speak on his behalf to someone who may be wandering away. Confrontation has little to do with us. It is all about the Lord, motivated by a desire to draw people back into close, obedient, and loving communion with Him. 

6. The Second Commandment Motivates Biblical Rebuke. You Shall Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. Matt 22:39. How Is This Opposite in Our Culture in The World Today?

P 202

Confrontation is rooted in the Second Great Command, which calls us to “love your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22:39). Isn’t it interesting that the Old Testament call to love your neighbor as yourself is tied to this call to frank rebuke? A rebuke free of unrighteous anger is a clear sign of biblical love, but I am afraid we have replaced love in our relationships with being “nice.” Being nice and acting out of love is not the same thing. Our culture puts a high premium on being tolerant and polite. We seek to avoid uncomfortable moments, so we see but do not speak. We go so far as to convince ourselves that we are not speaking because we love the other person when in reality, we fail to speak because we lack love.

Please don’t misunderstand. True love is not offensively intrusive or rude. But the Bible repudiates covering sin with a facade of silence. It teaches that those who love will speak, even if it creates tense, upsetting moments. If we love people and want God’s best for them, how can we stand by as they wander away? How can we let them deceive themselves with excuses, blame, and rationalizations? How can we watch them get more and more enslaved by the fleeting pleasures of sin? How can we let a sufferer add to his suffering by the way he responds to his own experience? True love is neither idle nor timid. It is other-centered and active.

The truth is that we fail to confront, not because we love others too much, but because we love ourselves too much. We fear others misunderstanding us or being angry with us. We are afraid of what others will think. We don’t want to endure the hardships of honesty because we love ourselves more than we love our neighbors. Yet we know that the depth of love in a relationship can be judged by the degree of honesty that exists. Biblical rebuke is motivated by the Second Great Command.

Confrontation is our moral responsibility in every relationship. The passage says, “Rebuke your neighbor frankly.” This call extends beyond the borders of formal counseling, discipleship, and ministry relationships. It is a call to respond to all who live near us. Rebuke is not something that exists outside a good relationship, brought in only at crisis moments. The Bible presents confrontation as one of the cords of a strong relationship, a normal part of the interaction that makes the relationship what it is.

7. What Should the Model of Confrontation Be in Our Relationships? Pg 202-204.

P 203

Often when people hear the words rebuke and confrontation, they think of a radical moment of truth-telling, a long list of stern indictments against a person who is significantly rebellious or who has tragically wandered away. Yet the model here is ongoing honesty in an ongoing relationship. Rather than one big moment of confrontation, the model here is many mini-moments of confrontation. The biblical model recognizes that as we live and work with others, our hearts will be progressively exposed. It calls us to deal with whatever God reveals as he reveals it. In each small moment of truth-speaking, the progress of sin is retarded and spiritual growth is encouraged. The model in Leviticus fits perfectly with the progressive sanctification model of growth and ministry that the New Testament presents. Here, too, problems are addressed while still in their infancy before they mature into tragic consequences.

Notice also that the passage says, “… so that you will not share in his guilt.” There could be no clearer statement of our moral responsibility. Each of our relationships must be pursued in absolute submission to the will and way of the Lord. We have been called to serve as ambassadors of the One who is Lord of every relationship. We must never function as mini-kings, setting our own rules and pursuing our own way.

Rebuke does not mean that our love is conditional. However, the self-sacrificing love of this passage exists at the intersection of patient grace and intolerance for sin. This means that I love you, and I will not walk away from you at the first sign of weakness or sin. I will extend to you the same grace I have received. At the same time, however, my love for you does not close its eyes to wrongdoing. It does not stay silent while sin is allowed to grow. The love I am called to extend is the love of the cross of Christ, which stands at the intersection of God’s grace and his complete intolerance of sin. His intolerance does not cause God to move away. He moves toward me in redemptive love so that someday I will stand before him without sin. This is what we are called to embody in our relationships. Anything less is to be a moral accomplice in the sin.

P 204

How many sermons have you heard on the immorality of self-absorbed silence? How often have you viewed your unwillingness to confront as an act of rebellion in itself? Have you ever considered how often you have chosen to be silent when God was calling you to be part of his rescue effort? We are called to accept moral responsibility for the things God reveals to us about others. To refuse to speak is to rebel against the Lord we say we love and serve.

Having said this, I should note that this passage does not give you permission to live as if you were someone else’s conscience. It does not call you to a self-righteousness that displays a rude and judgmental spirit. This passage repudiates all those things. It is a neighbor-to-neighbor passage. It does not assume two classes of people, the “rebukers” and the “neighbors.” The rebukers are the neighbors, and the neighbors are the rebukers. As a neighbor, I live in desperate need of the loving restraint God gives me through my neighbors. And as a neighbor, I am called to serve others the same way. As long as indwelling sin remains, we all need help, and we all need to help others. Sinners minister to sinners with the help of God.

Confrontation is meant to be more of a lifestyle than an unusual event. Confrontation is difficult when it is not a normal part of our experience. Sometimes it is so rare that we lack the necessary understanding, expectations, and skills. Instead, we fumble and fail, only making people dread the next time, like Sally. But from the Bible’s perspective, a good relationship always grows in its ability to recognize, confront, and deal with the truth. Each time we speak the truth, we grow in our understanding of our calling and our skill in carrying it out.

Often there is so little honest conversation between parents and teenagers that moments of rebuke are extremely uncomfortable. At one point in our family, there were important things we needed to discuss with our daughter. We decided to make weekly appointments to talk with her about them. The first time was very difficult, but each time got easier. Soon the ground we gained spilled over into our informal conversations. All our interactions began to be more comfortable and honest. This passage envisions a “constant conversation” model where the daily intervention of honest rebuke is a regular part of all relationships. 

8. In Leviticus 19:15-18 We See the Contrast Between Love and Hatred. Love Is When We Speak Honest Rebuke, and Hatred Is When We Fail to Speak. What Are Some Forms of Subtle and Passive Hatred? Pg 205-206.

P 205

There is also a payoff for more formal discipleship and counseling situations. The person who has made honest, humble, loving rebuke a part of his daily relationships (as a giver and a receiver) will be clear and comfortable when he confronts a person in a more structured setting. The skills of family leadership and ministry also make us effective in the church of Christ. Perhaps we confront poorly or not at all because we do not have a ministry mentality or communication maturity at home. If we have avoided confrontation or been more angry than constructive in our rebukes, how can we expect to be ready when God gives us opportunities in the church?

We fail to confront in love because we have yielded to subtle and passive forms of hatred. Embedded in the passage is a contrast between love and hatred. If you tried to illustrate this passage, it would look like this: At the center is a high plateau of love based on a commitment to honest rebuke. On either side is a dark valley of hatred. One is the valley of passive hatred, and the other is the valley of active hatred. Both are temptations, and both are wrong! Leviticus 19 is clear that we must find a way to lovingly confront sin when we see it in others. If we fail to do so, we cannot console ourselves by saying, “Perhaps I am not loving this person as God wants me to, but at least I do not hate him!” There is no neutral ground between love and hatred. Our response to the sins of others is either motivated by Second Great Command love or by some form of hatred.

One subtle form of hatred is favoritism, granting favor to some but refusing it to others because of a standard we have set up in our own minds. It may be based on economic status, physical appearance, race or ethnicity, doctrinal differences, self-righteousness, revulsion over particular sins, or something else. Some people live outside the circle of our favor (and, therefore, our ministry) simply because of who they are. This can even happen in families. I fear that there is much more hatred in our families and churches than we think.

 What Are Some Forms of Active Hatred? Pg 206-207.

P 206

A second form of passive hatred is bearing a grudge. We keep a record of what someone has done against us. We go over it again and again, each time growing more angry and giving ourselves more reason to despise the offender. Our anger grows even when no further sin has been committed; it becomes the interpretive grid through which we assess everything the person does. No matter what he does, he cannot do anything right in our eyes. Everything is distorted by the anger and bitterness through which we view it, destroying any possibility of dealing with sin in a godly way.

This passage does not offer an exhaustive discussion of passive hatred, but it does warn us of the myth of “neutral ground” and indicate what passive hatred looks like. We are constantly dealing with the sins of others, as they are with us. The issue is whether our responses are motivated by biblical love or by self-righteous, prejudiced, and grudge-bearing hatred.

We fail to confront because we have yielded to more active forms of hatred. Here we not only act as the judge but as the jailer and executioner as well. This passage says that there are three ways our hatred actively reveals itself: injustice, gossip, and revenge. All three have been present in all of our lives at some point, and all three responses destroy, or at least distort, the biblical ministry of rebuke. God ordained rebuke to restrain sin until our redemption is complete. We either position ourselves to be part of that work or we stand in the way.

Injustice perverts God’s system of restraint. It doesn’t protect, correct, or restrain the sinner. It hurts and mistreats him.

Gossip doesn’t lead a person to make a humble confession before God or others. When I gossip, I confess the sin of another person to someone who is not involved. Gossip doesn’t restrain sin; it encourages it. It doesn’t build someone’s character; it destroys his reputation. Gossip doesn’t lead a person to humble insight; it produces anger and defensiveness.

Revenge is the opposite of ministry. Ministry is motivated by a desire for someone’s good; revenge is motivated by a desire to harm him. We have forsaken our call to bring the person to the Lord so that he can see himself as he really is and given ourselves instead to a quest to settle the score.

P 207

What is so terribly serious about all this is that we have been called to incarnate the glory of Christ’s love on earth—to love as he has loved us so that people would know we are his disciples. The ultimate apologetic for the reality of the gospel is the loving unity of the body of Christ, a unity so deep, resilient, and pervasive that it can only be compared to the unity of the Trinity. (See John 13–17.) Our call is to find satisfaction in our relationships, not because people please us, but because we delight in displaying God’s love in a hopeless world.

What a difference it makes to see that being sinned against is not an occasion for vengeance but for God to be revealed! Instead of assuming God’s position as judge, we ask how we can incarnate his love to the people involved in the hurtful situation. Too often, we forget that there is nothing more wonderful than to be Christ’s ambassador. We participate in the most important work of the universe.

We can do this because sin’s mastery over us has been broken as we have been united with Christ’s life, death, and resurrection (Rom. 6:1–14) and indwelt by a Holy Spirit who battles the flesh on our behalf (Gal. 5:16–26; Rom. 8:1–11). Because of this, we can say “no” to powerful emotions (passions) and compelling desires (Gal. 5:24) and turn in a new direction. We do not have to give the parts of our body to favoritism, grudges, gossip, injustice, and revenge. Rather, we can offer ourselves to the Lord for his use. The cross of Christ not only provides redemption but the resources we need to be part of his work.

Confrontation flows out of a recognition of our identity as the children of God. The passage repeats the phrase, “I am the Lord.” It reminds us that we have been chosen by Him, and our lives are no longer our own. Everything we are and have belongs to Him, and we will find our greatest joy in relationships when we recognize that they, too, belong to Him. We are the Lord’s. They are the Lord’s. The situation is the Lord’s. Loving confrontation is rooted in an awareness that we are God’s children, and our goal is to be active in his purposes for us. To do less is to forget who we are. 

9. Failure To Make Loving Rebuke Opens the Door to What? Pg 208. 

10. A Humble Lifestyle of Rebuke Protects Us from Whom? Pg 208. 

a.      Explain:

P 208

Proper biblical confrontation is never motivated by impatience, frustration, hurt, or anger but is one way God prevents these things from damaging our relationships. Failure to make loving rebuke part of our relationships gives the Devil a huge opportunity. I have met many couples who have lost all the tenderness, appreciation, patience, respect, sensitivity, and romance in their relationship. These precious commodities had been destroyed by a failure to confront sin biblically. Their marriages had become a cycle of accusation, recrimination, and revenge. Bitterness and anger had sucked the life out of their love until the spouses could barely remember what once attracted them to each other. They never intended it, but their refusal to confront sin in God’s way and their daily habit of devouring each other had gutted their relationship. The sweet, hopeful couple of the past had become two isolated, angry, and hopeless people who wanted out of their marriage.

A humble, honest lifestyle of rebuke protects us from ourselves. As sinners living with sinners, we need something to retard the progress of sin in our relationships. Early in our marriage Luella and I decided that we would not let the sun go down on our anger (Eph. 4:26). We promised each other that we would not go to bed angry. At first, we would lie in bed, propping our eyes open, waiting for the other person to ask for forgiveness so that we wouldn’t have to. But as time went on, [Humility] reveals we saw how this principle 1 restrained our sin, 2 strengthened our relationship, 3 protected our love, and 4 matured us both. We have been married for over thirty years, and we are still sinners, yet we love each other more than ever, and we don’t carry yesterday’s baggage into today’s encounters. On each anniversary, we thank the Lord for rescuing us from ourselves. 

11. Confrontation Does Not Force a Person to Deal with You But Places Him or Her Before The Lord. How Do We Accomplish This in Our Conversations with That Person?

P 209

Confrontation does not force a person to deal with you but places him before the Lord.

This paragraph describes our heart’s attitude toward the one with which we will lovingly rebuke, but I believe the heart of the matter is in the rebuke; it is the sharing of what Christ has done in our lives that matters the most. Again, evidence of what Christ has done in us must be revealed in our character toward everyone, not just for some. For others to believe there is a genuine change in our lives, there should be a created desire, hunger, and thirst for what we have. Otherwise, what is the point of a conversation with someone we are rebuking in God’s love, grace, and mercy? There aren’t any if we are not living examples of what Christ can do.

The most important encounter in confrontation is not the person’s encounter with you but with Christ. Rebuke does not force a person to face your judgment; it gives him an opportunity to do business with God. It is motivated by a desire for the person to receive the grace of conviction, confession, forgiveness, and repentance—to experience the grace we also have received. Confrontation does not enforce legalities; it ministers the restraining, forgiving, restoring grace of Christ to someone who has turned from him. It is not motivated by punishment but by the hope that the Lord would free this person from the prison of his own sin to know the freedom of walking in fellowship with Him. 

Personal:

Do I Confront Others as An Ambassador of Christ, Or Do I Tend to Advance My Own Opinion? Think Of a Time in Your Life (1) When You Were Rebuked and (2) When You Had to Rebuke Someone Else. How Well Did These Encounters Fulfill Godly Goals?

Instruments

in the Redeemer’s

Hands

How to Help Others Change 

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STUDY GUIDE

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Paul David Tripp

Timothy S. Lane, Contributor

 Chapter 12: LESSON 9 – Speak I: Speaking the Truth in Love - Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands Study Guide: How to Help Others Change (zoboko.com)

The Goals of Speaking the Truth in Love

Tripp, Paul David. 2002. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change. Resources for Changing Lives. P&R Publishing Company.