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Tuesday, January 3, 2023

SELF-CONFRONTATION? ISN’T THAT JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING “SELF-CONDEMNATION?”

        The purpose of self-confrontation is to learn how to examine ourselves biblically so we can live in a manner that pleases the Lord and help others to do the same. No matter how proficient we are in using Scripture, “Self-Confrontation,” encourages us to rely on the Word of God to discover God’s sufficiency for every aspect of our lives. Broger (1991, p. 3)  

Self-confrontation? Isn’t that just another way of saying “self-condemnation?” Isn’t that counter-productive to a fulfilling life? Instead of confronting myself, shouldn’t I be building myself up? Shouldn’t I avoid doing anything that would lower my self-esteem or self-image? Don’t I have to learn to love myself before I can love others? Don’t I have to know how to forgive myself before I can have true peace and joy?

Questions like these reflect the fact that many people are following false teaching that has been present since the beginning of time but is gaining unprecedented popularity in the church today. It is the “doctrine” of self-exaltation and self-gratification. This preoccupation with self is based on a misunderstanding of one’s relationship with God, is unbiblical, and deters spiritual growth.

Self-exaltation and self-gratification have always had devastating consequences. This self-focus was the basis for Satan’s downfall (Isaiah 14:13-14) and was at the heart of the first temptation on earth (Genesis3:1-6). An unsuccessful appeal to self-exaltation and self-gratification was the focus of the temptation of the Lord Jesus Christ by Satan (Luke 4:2-12). Self-exaltation and self-gratification reaches its pinnacle when in these last days, as Scripture predicts, men are lovers of self (II Timothy 3:1-2). 

Isaiah 14:13–14 (NKJV)

13 For you have said in your heart:

‘I will ascend into heaven,

I will exalt my throne above the stars of God;

I will also sit on the mount of the congregation

On the farthest sides of the north;

14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds,

I will be like the Most High.’

Genesis 3:1–6 (NKJV) The Temptation and Fall of Man

3 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree, which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”

Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.

Luke 4:2–12 (NKJV)

being tempted for forty days by the devil. And in those days, He ate nothing, and afterward, when they had ended, He was hungry.

And the devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.”

But Jesus answered him, saying, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.’”

Then the devil, taking Him up on a high mountain, showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And the devil said to Him, “All this authority I will give You, and their glory; for this has been delivered to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. Therefore, if You will worship before me, all will be Yours.”

And Jesus answered and said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”

Then he brought Him to Jerusalem, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here. 10 For it is written:

‘He shall give His angels charge over you,

To keep you,’

11 and,

‘In their hands, they shall bear you up,

Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”

12 And Jesus answered and said to him, “It has been said, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’”

2 Timothy 3:1–2 (NKJV) Perilous Times and Perilous Men

3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 


Instead of pleasing or exalting yourself, Scripture tells you to examine (or confront) and humble yourself (Matthew 23:12; I Corinthians 11:31). You must do this because your heart is deceitful, desperately wicked, and beyond full understanding (Jeremiah 17:9). The first step in self-confrontation is to realize your own sinful, lost condition before God (Psalm 14:1-3; Romans 3:10-12) and second, to turn to God as your only hope of eternal salvation (Romans 6:23). According to His mercy, God provides salvation through faith as a free gift of His grace, not because of any good thing in you and not because of any good work you could do to merit His love and favor (Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:5-7). 

Matthew 23:12 (NKJV)

12 And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

1 Corinthians 11:31 (NKJV)

31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged.

Jeremiah 17:9 (NKJV)

9 “The heart is deceitful above all things,

And desperately wicked;

Who can know it?

Psalm 14:1–3 (NKJV)

1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”

They are corrupt,

They have done abominable works,

There is none who does good.

2 The Lord looks down from heaven upon the children of men,

To see if there are any who understand, who seek God.

3 They have all turned aside,

They have together become corrupt;

There is none who does good,

No, not one.

Romans 3:10–12 (NKJV)

10 As it is written:

“There is none righteous, no, not one;

11 There is none who understands;

There is none who seeks after God.

12 They have all turned aside;

They have together become unprofitable;

There is none who does good, no, not one.”

Romans 6:23 (NKJV)

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 2:8–9 (NKJV)

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

Titus 3:5–7 (NKJV)

not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 


Self-confrontation must continue throughout your Christian walk if you are to avoid the hypocrisy of judging the failures of others without first examining your own life in a biblical manner (Matthew 7:1-5; Luke 6:41-42). Most importantly, self-confrontation must be achieved in accordance with the Word of God (II Timothy 3:16-17: Hebrews 4:12). 

Matthew 7:1–5 & Luke 6:37–42 (NKJV) Judging

7 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Luke 6:41–42 (NKJV)

41 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? 42 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

2 Timothy 3:16–17 (NKJV)

16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV)

12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 


Confronting yourself in a biblical manner will often be difficult and will sometimes be a grievous experience. However, the Holy Spirit, the Helper, will assist you (John 16:8, 13-14) to face your own sins, failures, and shortcomings. Then He will comfort you, teach you, and guide you into all truth so that your sorrow may be turned into everlasting joy (John 14:16, 26; 15:11). 

John 16:8 (NKJV)

And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:

John 16:13–14 (NKJV)

13 However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. 14 He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you.

John 14:16 (NKJV)

16 And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—

John 14:26 (NKJV)

26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

John 15:11 (NKJV)

11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 


If there is a single emphasis that underlines this biblical training, it is for you to determine biblically whether you are seeking to please yourself or seeking to please God in all you think and do (II Corinthians 5:9; Colossians 1:10; 3:2, 17). As you will soon discover, the objective of this study in personal discipleship and biblical counseling training is not to learn how to save your life but instead how to lose it for Jesus’ sake (Matthew 16:24-25; Luke 9:23-24) through the process of evaluating yourself biblically. 

2 Corinthians 5:9 (NKJV) The Judgment Seat of Christ

Therefore, we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him.

Colossians 1:10 (NKJV)

10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;

Colossians 3:2 (NKJV)

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

Colossians 3:17 (NKJV)

17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Matthew 16:24–25 & Mark 8:34–37; Luke 9:23–25 (NKJV) Revelation of Jesus’ Reward

24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Luke 9:23–24 & Matt. 16:24–27; Mark 8:34–38 (NKJV) True Cost of Discipleship

23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. 24 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. 


May God bless the truths of His Word to your life as you faithfully begin a lifelong process of biblical self-confrontation. Broger (1991, p. vi)  

Broger, J. C. (1991). Self-Confrontation A Manual for In-Depth Biblical Discipleship: Biblical Counseling Foundation.

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