How do you deal with memories of a tough childhood while trying to be a loving and supportive parent yourself?

Dealing with memories of a tough childhood while striving to be a loving and supportive parent begins with understanding that our parents’ rearing experiences significantly shaped how they raised us, which in turn influences how we parent our own children. Recognizing that our parents, whether right or wrong, need our forgiveness just as we hope for forgiveness from our children is a crucial step. We do not intend to pass on our character defects to our children; instead, we aim to impart the very best of ourselves. However, this is often challenging if we have not first forgiven our parents and gained insight into how their upbringing influenced ours, providing clarity on why we behave as we do. This perspective aligns with Colossians 3:13, which says, “Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Intentional self-reflection and healing are crucial for breaking negative cycles. Even if we did not have an ideal childhood, we can learn to be good parents by making sense of our past and integrating those experiences into new opportunities for growth. Proverbs 22:6 instructs, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Being aware of childhood mistakes helps prevent overreacting or projecting unresolved issues onto our children. Professional help, such as counseling and various therapeutic techniques, can be vital in processing trauma. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Sharing our experiences with those who have more experience with overcoming similar challenges is an integral part of the healing journey.

Self-care is critical, particularly when dealing with chronic issues like depression, anxiety, or trauma. Again, seeking support and professional help is essential not only for ourselves but also for our children’s sake, reflecting Philippians 4:6-7 stating, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Attachment styles from childhood have a profound influence on our relationships, so understanding these patterns is crucial.

Journaling or discussing experiences with trusted friends or a counselor helps clarify how our past impacts our parenting and identifies triggers rooted in our childhood, fostering the transformation described in Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” While navigating a complicated family history is challenging, we have the power to create a supportive family environment through our dedicated effort, drawing strength from 2 Corinthians 5:17, which says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” This commitment enables us to break cycles and model God’s love, as urged in Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV): “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

While learning about our past is necessary for successful parenting, we must remember that every new parent inherently makes mistakes along the way. As first-time parents, we desire to instill the best experiences in our child’s life, yet we must acknowledge our imperfections, just as our own parents were not perfect. We need to allow for the proverbial learning curve, recognizing that parenting is a process of growth. For instance, what may appear to experienced parents as overprotectiveness in our early years often lessens by the third or fourth child, as we discover our children’s remarkable resilience and ability to manage life without constant shielding, as if in a bubble. Similarly, we must remember that our parents’ actions, which sometimes felt smothering to us in youth, mirror the impact we may have on our own children.

Parenting is new to every first-time parent, but by the time we raise our child to the teen years, we often realize there are aspects of the earlier years we would handle differently—not because we did a poor job, but because hindsight reveals opportunities for improvement. This humility aligns with Ecclesiastes 7:20, stating, “For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin,” and encourages grace toward ourselves, as extended in Micah 7:18-19, “Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” To put it another way, the wisdom that comes from experience is something we must look forward to obtaining through experience.

We may perceive our parenting mistakes as echoes of those our parents made with us, but we can also recognize them as part of a generational cycle awaiting interruption—and we are positioned to break it. These memories of our past, often inherited from our great-grandparents, present us with the opportunity to enact change and halt the transmission of negativity. We can become the family that learns from history, advancing into the future with the assurance that our children will benefit from our transformed patterns, as affirmed in Exodus 20:5-6, “For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”

Not only can we disrupt negative cycles, but we can also establish new traditions that positively shape our children’s immediate lives and leave a lasting legacy for our grandchildren, fostering a heritage that our great-great-grandparents would be proud of. The choice rests with us. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” 2 Corinthians 5:17, NKJV. 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-do-you-deal-memories-tough-childhood-while-trying-forefathers-esgxe

How Does God’s Sovereignty Work In Relation To Human Free Will?: The Parent-Child Analogy Remains Optimal For Illustrating Divine Sovereignty Alongside Human Autonomy

The provided text employs the parent-child analogy to explain God’s sovereignty in relation to human free will, depicting God as a compassionate Father who creates humans in His image with the capacity for choice while exercising ultimate authority to fulfill His purposes through discipline, guidance, and predetermined outcomes, as supported by scriptures such as Isaiah 55:8-9, Genesis 1:26-27, and Ephesians 1:11. It highlights that humans may freely accept or reject God. However, He determines the consequences, inviting fellowship and demonstrating patience for repentance, as in Deuteronomy 30:19 and 2 Peter 3:9.

Comprehending the mind of God resembles a child inquiring why specific actions are prohibited, only to receive the parental response, “Because I said so.” From the parents’ perspective, the rationale holds profound significance, rooted in experiences unknown to the child. Explaining such matters entirely is unnecessary, as the parent requires only obedience and trust that they prioritize the child’s well-being. This trust is evidenced through the parents’ provision, protection, and demonstrated love. Yet, the child, lacking a complete understanding of this depth, persists in questioning. Thus, the parent-child relationship offers the most apt framework for elucidating the interplay between God’s sovereignty and human free will, as illustrated in Isaiah 55:8-9, where the Lord declares, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways... For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

God is defined foremost as a Father, having created humanity as His children. As affirmed in Psalm 103:13, “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.” As our sovereign Father, He oversees our lives with loving care until we attain maturity, remaining available for guidance thereafter. Just as earthly parents provide counsel amid life’s choices, God invites us to seek Him for insight and direction, for as Proverbs 2:6 states, “The Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding,” and as Proverbs 3:5-6 urges, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Another pertinent illustration is the child welfare system, wherein the State assumes responsibility for orphans until they reach adulthood, typically at age 18. Scripture underscores this duty, commanding in James 1:27 that “religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” Consequently, the parent-child analogy remains optimal for illustrating divine sovereignty alongside human autonomy.

God created the world and all within it, declaring in Genesis 1:1, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” He fashioned humanity—His children—to exercise dominion freely over this creation, blessing them in Genesis 1:28 to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” As the omnipotent One, He intervenes in the world at will, revealing Himself as He deems appropriate. Having formed Adam and Eve, the first humans, God elects to engage relationally with His creation. As the Creator of all seen and unseen, He endows humanity with attributes of His choosing, for as Colossians 1:16 affirms, “by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him.”

In crafting humans in His image, God bestowed the capacity for free choice, mirroring His own volition. As stated in Genesis 1:26-27, “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness... So God created man in His Own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.’” This likeness enables love, obedience, creativity, and thought. God revealed sufficient aspects of Himself to humanity, allowing them to make informed decisions to reciprocate His love, of their own free will. However, when humanity opted for self-determination, God responded accordingly, imposing consequences as outlined in Genesis 3:17-19 following the fall. The crux lies in accepting God’s prerogative to act as He wills, irrespective of human comprehension.

We are the clay, and God is the potter; He shapes us as vessels for honor or dishonor. As Romans 9:20-21 questions, “But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, ‘Why have you made me like this?’ Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?” This echoes Isaiah 64:8: “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” The issue resides not in God’s freedom but in humanity’s propensity to defy the Creator’s directives for our good. Consider a child darting into the street without caution: a parent’s duty demands discipline to avert tragedy. Neglecting this, as in failing to correct perilous behavior, constitutes negligence under the law. Most would concur that such irresponsibility disqualifies one from parenthood. Thus, corrective measures, like discipline, safeguard the child from greater harm, for as Proverbs 13:24 warns, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him,” and as Hebrews 12:6 explains, “For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives.”

The notion of parental neglect in equipping children for life’s challenges exemplifies irresponsibility. Parents, drawing from experience, act in what they perceive as the child’s best interest, though imperfections—mistakes, failures, and triumphs—are inherent to the process. Judging a parent solely on isolated incidents overlooks their holistic life, akin to the adage against judging a book by its cover, and reflective of Matthew 7:1-2: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

In the parent-child dynamic, parents typically conceive children with intentions for their upbringing, aspiring for them to become well-adjusted societal contributors—perhaps leaders, entrepreneurs, or influencers fostering positive change. However, the child’s free will may diverge from these plans. Parents guide and provide, but outcomes remain uncertain. In contrast, God’s sovereignty ensures fulfillment of His purposes, for as Ephesians 1:11 describes, “In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him Who works all things according to the counsel of His will,” and as Proverbs 19:21 confirms, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

Unlike human parents, constrained by unforeseen events, God orchestrates from the end backward, envisioning ultimate goals and interweaving elements to realize them. While parents might plan financially for education or retirement, God aligns intricate details across generations—such as marital unions benefiting descendants and myriad others—demonstrating sovereignty over time and eternity, declaring in Isaiah 46:10, “the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all My purpose.’”

Accepting this overarching divine control poses significant challenges. Nevertheless, if one affirms Genesis 1:1’s creation ex nihilo and the ensuing divine plan, the redemption narrative follows logically. The obstacle stems from humanity’s illusion of ultimate control over destiny. We may choose to accept or reject God, but consequences are His domain, for as Deuteronomy 30:19 proclaims, “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live,” and as Joshua 24:15 challenges, “And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve... But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Similarly, children select obedience or defiance, but parents determine repercussions, exercising this wisely to preserve the child’s spirit, as Ephesians 6:4 instructs: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

These analogies underscore the parent-child paradigm, revealing God’s involvement in all aspects of existence—from seeds germinating through apparent death, to waves sculpting shores, to the miracle of human development and relational cycles. As Psalm 139:13-14 celebrates, “For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” Such joys originate in God, our Father, who delights in our free choice of fellowship with Him, inviting in Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with Me.” Tragically, free will can lead to relational estrangement, driven by immature notions of superiority, yet underscoring the patience in 2 Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

 

While this brief look at the Sovereignty of God and the Free will of man produced a parochial view at best, it is wise to remember that the underlying foundation of the dual topic at its heart is the Providence of God controlling all that we see and do not. Thus, the subject would be remiss not to mention the Patriarch of the Old Testament, Joseph.

Stephen Charnock, in his work on the subject of the Divine Providence of God, spoke of Joseph and ‘God Accomplishing His Righteous Ends’ in the following manner.

“God has His hand in all sinful actions to accomplish His righteous ends. When Joseph was sold to the Ishmaelites, it was an act of his brothers, but sending him into Egypt was an act of God:

[Joseph said to his brothers,] “It was not you who sent me here, but God.” (Gen. 45:8)

He had sent a man ahead of them,

Joseph, who was sold as a slave. (Ps. 105:17)

Joseph ascribes his situation to God rather than his brothers. Their wicked intention was to be rid of him and to keep him from tattling on them to their father.

God’s gracious intention was to send Joseph to Egypt for the Lord’s honor and the family’s good. To achieve this, He used the brothers’ sinfulness to bring about His gracious purpose. The brothers’ intentions were wicked, but God’s end was righteous.”¹

Charnock drives home the two seemingly opposing points of view through God’s Divine Providence, using man’s sinful actions to bring about Glory and Honor for Himself. While we mere particles of dust in the corridors of time may not comprehend the mind of God in matters of these, it is best to accept that we have God working on our behalf who foreordained and planned for our stubborn, stiff-necked, uncircumcised philistine characteristics, making a way for us to receive forgiveness and the hope of everlasting life. We may not know what our future holds, but we can know who holds our future; do you?

¹Charnock, Stephen. 2022. p 54 Divine Providence: A Classic Work for Modern Readers. Edited by Carolyn B. Whiting. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing.

The Potter and the Clay Jeremiah 18:1-17 NLT

 “The LORD gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, “Go down to the potter’s shop, and I will speak to you there.” So I did as He told me and found the Potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. Then the LORD gave me this message:

“O Israel, can I not do to you as this Potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the Potter’s hand, so are you in My hand. If I announce that a particular nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down, and destroyed, but then that nation renounces its evil ways, I will not destroy it as I had planned. And if I announce that I will plant and build up a particular nation or kingdom, but then that nation turns to evil and refuses to obey Me, I will not bless it as I said I would.

“Therefore, Jeremiah, go and warn all Judah and Jerusalem. Say to them, ‘This is what the LORD says:

I am planning disaster for you instead of good. So turn from your evil ways, each of you, and do what is right.’”

God’s Warning Rejected

But the people replied, “Don’t waste your breath. We will continue to live as we want to, stubbornly following our own evil desires.”

So this is what the LORD says:

“Has anyone ever heard of such a thing, even among the pagan nations? My virgin daughter, Israel, has done something terrible! Does the snow ever disappear from the mountaintops of Lebanon? Do the cold streams flowing from those distant mountains ever run dry? But My people are not so reliable, for they have deserted Me; they burn incense to worthless idols. They have stumbled off the ancient highways and walk in muddy paths. Therefore, their land will become desolate, a monument to their stupidity. All who pass by will be astonished and will shake their heads in amazement. I will scatter My people before their enemies as the east wind scatters dust. And in all their trouble, I will turn My back on them and refuse to notice their distress.” …

Giving Up Control May Be Difficult For Us.

When we finally come to the end of ourselves, we believe we are entirely ready for God to heal us, but we still may want to control how He does it. We are so used to calling the shots that we will ask for God’s help as long as He does it on our terms. We may demand that the changes happen on our timetable or in the order we feel ready to give them up. God does not work that way. That is why humility is such an essential part of surrendering our lives to God.

God told Jeremiah to go to the Potter’s shop to learn a lesson. Jeremiah said, “I did as he told me and found the Potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay and started again. Then the LORD gave me this message: . . . ‘Can I not do to you as this Potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the Potter’s hand, so are you in My hand.”

God told Isaiah, “What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot ever argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you are doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’” (Isaiah 45:9).

When we put our lives in God’s hands, He will reshape us as He sees fit. It is our humility that allows us to accept the fact that He is the Creator. Our new life may be similar to the one we left behind or entirely different. Regardless, God is the master craftsman over our lives. Whatever He does, we can trust that He will recreate our life beautifully, once we get out of His way!

The parable not only illustrates God’s sovereignty over the nation of Judah, but over our lives as well. God had power over the clay (Judah), and He would continue to work with it to make it a useful vessel. But Judah needed to repent soon, or else the clay would harden the wrong way. Then it would be worth nothing and would be broken and destroyed.

As the Potter molded or shaped a clay pot on the Potter’s wheel, defects would often appear. The Potter had power over the clay, to permit the defects to remain or to reshape the pot. Likewise, God has the power to reshape the nation to conform to His purposes.

Our strategy should not be to become mindless and passive—one aspect of clay—but to be willing and receptive to God’s impact on us. As we yield to God, he begins reshaping us into valuable vessels to be used for His purposes.

Our society admires assertiveness, independence, and sometimes even defiance of authority. In a relationship with God, these qualities become stubbornness, self-importance, and refusal to listen or change. Left unchecked, stubbornness becomes a way of life, making us hostile to God.

God gave the people of Judah the warnings they needed to avoid judgment, but they would not repent and turn from their idols. They preferred their own sinful ways to God’s ways. God’s ways are simple: His paths are straight; His burden is light. But we, at times, become stubborn, proud, and arrogant, choosing to do things our own way—a way that leads ultimately to despair and pain.

May we learn the lesson of the clay in the Potter’s hands. May we be pliable and flexible, not rigid and stubborn. May we remember we are but vessels in the hands of our maker to be used for His purpose to bring honor and glory to Him, not to ourselves.

Questions for Personal Application

1. Where in my life am I resisting God’s shaping?

2. How do I respond when God’s reshaping feels uncomfortable or painful?

3. In what ways have pride or stubbornness hardened my heart toward God’s correction?

4. What might God be asking me to “turn from” so He can begin a new work in me?

5. Am I willing to be a vessel for God’s purposes, even if it means letting go of my own plans or identity?

Prayer: In the Hands of the Potter

Father, You are the Potter, and I am the clay. Forgive me for the times I have resisted Your shaping and insisted on my own way. I confess that I often want control over how and when You work in my life, yet Your ways are higher and wiser than mine. So today, I surrender my will to You.

Crush and remake what is flawed within me, Lord. Remove the hardness of pride, stubbornness, and self-reliance that keep me from becoming who You’ve called me to be. Make me pliable in Your hands—humble, teachable, and responsive to Your Spirit.

Even when Your work feels uncomfortable, help me to trust that You are forming something beautiful and purposeful out of my life. Shape me into a vessel that brings honor to You, not to myself. May my life reflect Your craftsmanship and bring glory to Your name.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

In the Hands of the Potter Jeremiah 18:1-17 NLT https://biblia.com/bible/nlt/jeremiah/18/1-17

How has experiencing significant personal loss deepened your understanding of what it means to truly live each day?

Personal loss profoundly changes us, like that of losing a loved one, losing one’s own identity, whether it be in the form of a career loss or one’s health. A personal loss transforms our understanding of life, revealing that loss strips away our external supports, forcing us to confront our deepest vulnerabilities and bringing us to the end of ourselves. As the deepening sense of loss grows, it characterizes the journey of personal loss—losing not just people, but joy, presence, and assumptions about life, while simultaneously discovering that being truly alive means accepting the reality of death. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, NIV).

Through this process, we begin searching for a life less dependent on external circumstances and more rooted in the depth of our soul, ultimately discovering a divine love that gives shape to our true being. “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19, NIV).

The experience teaches us to savor each moment fully and passionately, recognizing that we often squander our thinking by dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, thus missing the surprising moments right before us. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34, NIV). Ultimately, this journey leads to a deeper appreciation for each moment, a slower pace of living, and a more compassionate, whole understanding of ourselves and the world.

Consider the example of the Christian who discovers he or she has early-onset Alzheimer’s. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of Dementia, accounting for 60-80 percent of dementia cases. It is a progressive brain disease that slowly destroys memory and thinking skills, primarily affecting people over 65. However, it is not exclusively an age-related condition; around 5-6 percent of people develop early-onset Alzheimer’s, which can appear when individuals are in their 30s, 40s, or 50s. Women are particularly at risk, with almost two-thirds of Alzheimer’s patients being female—a woman has a greater chance of developing Alzheimer’s (one in six) than breast cancer (one in eleven).

The disease is characterized by biochemical changes in the brain, including the buildup of β-amyloid protein plaques, the aggregation of tau protein leading to neurofibrillary tangles, and the degeneration of nerve endings. These changes block electrochemical signals between cells, with more degenerative areas correlating to greater disturbances in intellectual and memory function. Symptoms typically begin with short-term memory deficits and small executive functioning changes, progressively worsening to include loss of abstract meaning, attention difficulties, and eventually interfering with daily living activities. Currently the sixth leading cause of death, Alzheimer’s claims up to 500,000 lives annually, with projections suggesting the number of affected Americans could reach sixteen million by 2050.[1-5]. 

Thus, the question, “How has experiencing significant personal loss deepened your understanding of what it means to truly live each day?” The question not only applies to the loss of a loved one but also to the loss of one’s personal being. Consider the question as applied to Dementia, discovering one will lose all ability to remember they have faith in Christ for salvation, and that they will most likely die forgetting their past life of serving the Lord.

 

“How does a believer in Christ handle and accept the reality of Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, knowing that he or she will forget who their loved ones are, who they are, and potentially forget that they are secure in Christ for their salvation?”

 

A believer facing Alzheimer’s, who will face a truly profound loss of their identity, can find profound comfort in God’s unwavering love and grace. Despite concerns about potentially losing faith due to Dementia, salvation and ongoing faith are the result of God’s work, not human faithfulness. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV).

When a loved one’s ability to think and act is damaged, we must cling to the truth that God has called them and they belong to him. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:27-29, NIV).

Nothing can separate the believer from God’s love. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39, NIV).

And salvation is not lost when the gospel story is forgotten. In fact, salvation rests in God’s memory, not in our own forgetful minds. “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5, NIV). Even as declarative memory fails, nondeclarative memory remains, allowing patients to engage in familiar spiritual practices. 

The experience of being a person relies on relationships sustained by the memory of others and of God. Moreover, God’s grace is evident in how the Holy Spirit intercedes, praying with “wordless groans” when we cannot. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26, NIV). Even when disease has severely damaged the brain, God continues to search and know our hearts, responding with prayers on our behalf. “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. ... Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:1-4, 23-24, NIV).

Ultimately, believers can be freed from the fear of Alzheimer’s, knowing they will spend eternity in heaven with perfect memories. “Then I saw ’a new heaven and a new earth,’ for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away’” (Revelation 21:1-4, NIV).[6-9]. 

One truth remains for the loved ones of the one who will suffer the profound loss of who they are: to pray for them. “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16, NIV). As a family watches the decline of their parent, spouse, or friend, the one observing must remain thankful for the opportunity to minister Christ’s love to them in such a way that only the Love of God working in and through them could be. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV).

It is difficult at best watching our loved ones suffer ill health, but dying is part of living, and as profound as loss can be, eternal life is infinitely more rewarding and a gift that all believers have received and will enjoy when this life of suffering has come to its fruition. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NIV). “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, NIV).                   

[1] Umesiri, Francis E. 2016. Fasting for Life: Medical Proof Fasting Reduces Risk of Heart Disease, Cancer, and Diabetes. Lake Mary, FL: Siloam.

[2] Mooney, Sharon F. 2013. Alzheimer’s: Caring for Your Loved One, Caring for Yourself. Oxford, England: Lion Books.

[3] Hope for the Heart. 2024. Alzheimer’s & Dementia: Doing What’s Best for Your Brain. Keys for Living Library: Counseling and Coaching. Hope for the Heart.

[4] Smith, Robert. 1982. “Alzheimer’s Disease.” Edited by Jay E. Adams. The Journal of Pastoral Practice 6, no. 1: 45.

[5] Reichenberg, Lourie W., and Linda Seligman. 2016. Selecting Effective Treatments: A Comprehensive Systematic Guide to Treating Mental Disorders. Fifth Edition. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

[6] Mast, Benjamin T., and Scotty Smith. 2014. Second Forgetting: Remembering the Power of the Gospel during Alzheimer’s Disease. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

[7] Hodges, Charles D., Jr, ed. n.d. The Christian Counselor’s Medical Desk Reference. 2nd edition.

[8] Tellinghuisen, Donald J., and Paul Moes. 2023. Exploring Psychology and Christian Faith: An Introductory Guide. Second Edition. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic: A Division of Baker Publishing Group.

[9] Davis, Andrew M. 2021. The Glory Now Revealed: What We’ll Discover about God in Heaven. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker.

Question: If personal fulfillment does not come from religious belief, then where should individuals seek profound meaning and purpose in their lives?

The search for meaning, regardless of how profound one deems that meaning to be, is influenced by the multitude of philosophical perspectives that arise from living in a pluralistic society. The comment that truth is relative describes the point. However, the definition of relativity applied to truth cannot withstand the rigors of philosophical standards when confronted with Socratic logical thinking. Thus, using the book of Ecclesiastes for this response will help any sincere truth seeker find a place to begin their search for meaning.

One point that needs addressing is the definition of religious belief. Because the nature of religion differs across various cultures, a common understanding of religion necessitates a shared and agreed-upon definition of the word. Thus, in this perspective, religion means the following. 

“Religion is a comprehensive system of belief and worship that involves a community expressing shared beliefs through myths, doctrines, ethical teachings, rituals, and exceptional experiences. It fundamentally involves belief in and reverence for a supernatural power recognized as the Creator and ruler of the universe, typically organized with specific doctrines, behavioral patterns, and forms of worship. A religious belief comprehensively includes understanding God’s existence, recognizing divine revelation, acknowledging human obligation to divine commands, believing in reward and punishment, and practicing moral duties. Importantly, true religion is not just about theological principles, but also about practical piety and moral conduct. A religious person’s character is one of faithful devotion to a deity, adherence to religious observances, and conscientious faithfulness. Notably, as illustrated in the New Testament, genuine religious faith is inseparable from actions; thus, faith without deeds one could consider another’s religion lifeless.”[1-4]

However, one point must come to light: evil and the behaviors of works of the flesh, as described in Ephesians and Galatians, have come to have such an ungodly influence in the lives of many that those who practice the works of the flesh have allowed themselves to succumb to the delusion that they are following a religion. Debauchery, hedonism, and the like all describe those who have chosen to follow the works of the flesh and make the lust of the flesh their religion. 

The Biblical Definition of The Above Is As Follows

 

We Are To Be Doers—Not Hearers Only

“Therefore, lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. James 1:21-27 (NKJV).

“For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me” Matthew 25:35-40 (NKJV). 

Where Individuals Seek Meaning and Purpose In Their Lives!

 

Secular approaches suggest that purpose is something individuals must decide and achieve entirely on their own. 

Ecclesiastes counters this autonomy by asserting that purpose emerges from divine appointment amid life’s vanities. In Ecclesiastes 3:1, it declares, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens,” underscoring that human endeavors find meaning only within God’s ordained rhythms, not self-imposed designs. 

Humanist perspectives argue that meaning is not discovered externally but created by individuals, who find fulfillment through their own actions and by helping others. 

The text of Ecclesiastes reveals that true fulfillment arises from receiving and stewarding God’s gifts, rather than attempting to fabricate meaning through effort. Ecclesiastes 2:24-25 states, “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This, too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without Him, who can eat or find enjoyment?” Thus, actions gain purpose as responses to divine provision. 

Without a divine framework, however, life can appear meaningless; humans are merely an evolutionary accident destined for inevitable extinction, which can lead to a profound sense of hopelessness. 

Ecclesiastes confronts this apparent futility head-on, affirming inherent value through the Creator’s eternal imprint. Ecclesiastes 3:11 observes, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end,” offering hope against extinction by rooting existence in God’s timeless beauty and mystery. 

Atheist philosophers are divided, with some suggesting that meaning can be found through individual choice, while others emphasize the existential angst of facing life’s ultimate meaninglessness. 

Ecclesiastes unifies this tension by directing beyond choice to reverent submission, transcending angst through God-centered living. Ecclesiastes 12:13 concludes, “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind,” resolving division by establishing obedience as the antidote to vanity’s despair. 

Some secular approaches define self-fulfillment through pursuing personal peace (avoiding personal disturbance) and increasing material affluence. 

Ecclesiastes critiques such pursuits as illusory, advocating contentment in God’s sustenance over accumulation. In Ecclesiastes 5:18-19, it advises, “This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink, and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot. Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and honor... this too is from the hand of God,” prioritizing divine-granted peace. 

In contrast, a biblical perspective offers an alternative: finding purpose through a relationship with a personal God, where life’s meaning comes from understanding one’s created identity and divine calling, which can transform existence into a dynamic, inspirational enterprise. 

Ecclesiastes embodies this relational dynamic by urging enjoyment of life as communion with the Creator, infusing vanity with purpose. Ecclesiastes 9:7 exhorts, “Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do,” portraying existence as an engaging response to God’s approving presence and eternal judgment (Ecclesiastes 12:14). 

[1] Partridge, Christopher, and Tim Dowley, eds. 2013. Introduction to World Religions. Second Edition. Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press.

[2] Youngblood, Ronald F., F. F. Bruce, and R. K. Harrison, Thomas Nelson Publishers, eds. 1995. In Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Dictionary. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.

[3] Webster, Noah. 2006. In Noah Webster’s First Edition of An American Dictionary of the English Language. Anaheim, CA: Foundation for American Christian Education.

[4] Merriam-Webster, Inc. 2003. In Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary., Eleventh ed. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc.

In a world that often encourages holding onto grievances, how does your faith empower you to truly forgive someone?

Forgiveness is not optional for Christians, but a requirement for Colossians. 3:13 says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” God teaches us through His Word that forgiveness of our sins, first granted by Him, is how we receive healing for our broken lives and hearts, as stated in Ephesians. 1:7, “He is so rich in kindness and grace that He purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins.” Thus, God calls us to forgive others for the very same reason. Forgiving others heals our hearts and lives, and it is equally important as God forgiving us. In the same way, understanding God’s forgiveness of us and, by faith, following His example, God empowers us to forgive those who have hurt us. By extension, as we obey His will for our lives, healing of broken hearts in the lives of others also begins.

One can say that the act of forgiveness is the means for breaking the bondage of past hurts and negative experiences. Hebrews 12:15 says, “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” The power of forgiveness is more about freeing oneself from pain than about the person who caused the harm. The thought in relation to our position before God is not that God hurt us. However, we know what God requires of us, and because of that intuitive knowledge, we know we hurt God by falling short of His standard; thus, seeking forgiveness from our creator is the first step and requirement to all other aspects of life that reorders our lives into a right standing with God and then with others. 1 John 1:9 says, “But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

The process of forgiveness primarily begins with an awareness of our falling short of God’s perfect will for our lives. Then, it is a choice, an act of our will, but ultimately requires God’s grace to accomplish fully, as Philippians 4:13 says, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” True forgiveness is detaching from bitterness, forgetting the offense, disconnecting from negative feelings, and being able to pray for those who have genuinely hurt us, as Matthew 5:44 states, “But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” While forgiveness can be difficult, especially in the face of deep hurts, it is a divine characteristic that God entrusts to humanity, offering freedom from the destructive effects of bitterness and the potential for restored relationships.

One other point that needs mentioning is that even as our salvation is a gift from God, so that we may never boast that we earned our salvation or that in some way we were good enough for God to deliver us from the penalty of our sins, we need to remember that “God saved us by His grace when we believed and we cannot take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it, Ephesians 2:8-9.” Thus, forgiveness from God to us and from us to others is also a gift. It is God who does the work in our lives, enabling us to forgive others, as He has forgiven us.

https://yourstorytheirhope.quora.com/In-a-world-that-often-encourages-holding-onto-grievances-how-does-your-faith-empower-you-to-truly-forgive-someone

The Comfort of Knowing Providence: The steps of a man are established by the Lord when He delights in his way. Psalm 37:23

All People, But Especially Holy People, Are A Special Object Of God’s Providence.

God sees our suffering and distress, and He tenderly provides what He knows we need, even when we fail to understand what we need. Christians can persevere, knowing the Lord will provide His mercies as He has assured us in the promises of His covenant. This is the comfort of God’s providence.

We may take comfort in knowing that God is good, holy, wise, and powerful and that He preserves and governs all things by His providence. The justice and righteousness of God are the greatest comforts given to good people since the evangelical dispensation, for the Lord can no more deny His righteousness than He can deny Himself. We can take comfort in acknowledging and worshiping God, knowing He is constantly governing the world and leaving nothing to the capriciousness of what many call fortune or chance.

What satisfaction can there be for any clear-headed person who lives in a world deserted by its Creator? Wisdom without providence would drive anyone mad; the only advantage would be to an ignorant, senseless fool. Could there be any worse news than “Go ahead and be as religious as you will, but no eye above takes any notice of it”? Indeed, what could be more bitter to a rational person than the thought that God does not care about the affairs of the world?¹ If this were the case, the door would be thrown open for the wicked to sin and the godly to despair!

The truth that God in fact reigns is as great a joy to the godly as it is a terror to the wicked:

The Lord reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! (Ps. 97:1)

The Lord reigns; let the peoples tremble! (Ps. 99:1) 

 

Humanity Is a Special Object of Providence

Let us be comforted that human beings are a special object of providence. God provides for all His creatures but much more so mankind, who is uniquely the work of the Trinity and in whose creation He took special counsel: “Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness” (Gen. 1:26). This is the work of His heart: a being made according to His image and intended as a subordinate end of His whole creation, next to the principal—that of God’s glory. God is the preserver of man and beast, but principally of man, whereas beasts are subservient to the preservation and good of human creatures. 

 

God’s Saints Are Most Special to Him

Holy people are an even more special object of God’s providence. God preserves and provides for all things and all people. However, His eye is more peculiarly fixed on those who fear Him: “Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love” (Ps. 33:18).

His eye is so fixed that it is as though He has no thought about anything else.

God cares for all mankind, as all were created in His own image, even though that image has been corrupted by sin. But He cares much more for those in whom His image has been restored. If God loves Himself, He loves His image and His works.

A man loves the works of His hands, but much more does a father love His son, and much more does God love His own. Therefore, He will work for their good and incline well to them. God exercises a special providence over a righteous person and his ways: “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when He delights in his way” (Ps. 37:23). It is a special providence because it is a delightful providence.

How cherished and joyful it is to be in covenant with God and to be under the care of His wisdom and goodness! He rules the world as its governor and has all things at His beck, yet He is our Father and friend. He will do his children no harm and will order all things to our good out of fatherly affection. He is the world’s sovereign but the Father of good people; He rules the heavens and the earth, but He loves his holy ones. Others are objects of His providence, but a righteous person is the end of it: “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him” (2 Chron. 16:9). 

 

Believers Must Bear Innocent Sufferings

Knowing that God orders all things, believers have sufficient grounds to persevere in their innocent sufferings and the storms they experience in this world. God is a righteous governor who orders all things and will reward His people for their suffering as well as for their service: “God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for His name in serving the saints, as you still do” (Heb. 6:10). He is the one who presides over the world, who sees all our calamities and is never mistaken as to their cause, and who has the will and power and wisdom to help. Ours would indeed be a miserable state if there were no sovereign power who heard our cries of distress and eased our consciences.

It is a comfort that there is a sovereign governor to whom we can pray and offer up our petitions. How the presence of a skillful pilot in a weather-beaten ship cheers the hearts of its fearful passengers! How dreadful it would be for them were the vessel left to the fury of the winds and waves without an able hand to manage it. God bridles and checks human passions in order to marshal them according to His pleasure. They are all but His instruments in His government and not lords over it. God can lay a plot with more wisdom for His servants’ safety than the enemy can for their destruction. He can counter the opposition’s plots with more power than they have to execute them. He can outwit their craft, overpower their strength, and turn their cruel designs against them as a knife into their own breasts. 

 

Knowing We Are Secure Gives Comfort to Believers

With knowledge of God’s care comes a particular security that our needs will be met. If God takes care of the hairs on our heads, which are ornamental and superfluous, why should we doubt that He takes care of our necessities? If He is the guardian of our follicles, which fall away without our being aware, will He be careless of us when our whole lives are in the balance? Will God reach out with provision for His beasts, yet deny it to His children? How would you judge a father who feeds his servants and starves his sons, or a man who supplies his enemies but has no food for his friends?

The unjust as well as the just are warmed by God’s sun and refreshed by His rain. Shall God not have a providence for those who have a special interest in the Mediator, who intervened in order to sustain the standing mercies we forfeited by sin? If He blesses with these blessings those who are the objects of His curse, will He not bless those who are in His special favor? “Fear the Lord, you His saints, for those who fear Him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing” (Ps. 34:9-10). 

 

A follower of Christ shall have what he needs, but not always what he thinks he needs. Providence supplies our necessities, not our desires. He satisfies our wants, not our wantonness. If something is not a necessity, we should not desire it; when it is a necessity, He will provide, and we shall not be without it. When God does not grant a request, it may be that He has withheld from us a desire that would not be as beautiful as we expected, but everything is made beautiful in its season (Eccl. 3:11). If someone does not lack God’s kindness to redeem him, he will never lack God’s kindness to provide for him.

Christians have been given the assurance of the promise of providence by covenant, while others have an interest only in common providence. God was a provider before, and now He has made Himself your debtor. You may have prayed for His providential care before with a common faith, but now you pray with a deeper, earnest understanding, for in His promise He has given the believer the key to the chest of His providence: the “promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Tim. 4:8). The promise of this life is to satisfy not our desires but our necessities; the promise of the life to come is that we shall have whatever we want and whatever we desire.

We may also take comfort in the knowledge that God works a special providence over those who are mired in miserable circumstances, for He is called “the helper of the fatherless” (Ps. 10:14). This is the argument the church used to plead its return to God: “In you the orphan finds mercy” (Hos. 14:3). What greater comfort is there than this: that there is One presiding in the world who is so wise that He cannot be mistaken, so faithful that He cannot deceive, so filled with compassion that He cannot neglect His people, and so powerful that He can make stones into bread if He please!

Furthermore, we can take comfort in this: God does not govern the world only by His will as an absolute monarch but also by His wisdom and goodness as a tender father. It is not His greatest pleasure to demonstrate His sovereign power or inconceivable wisdom, but His greatest pleasure is to display His immense goodness to which His other attributes are subservient. God’s purpose in creation is His purpose in governance: the communication and diffusion of His goodness. We may be sure that God will do nothing except that which is for the best, His wisdom appointing it with the highest reason and His goodness ordering it to the most gracious end. And because He is the highest good, He not only wills good but wills the greatest good in everything He does.

What greater comfort can there be than that we are under the care of an infallible, unwearied, and righteous governor! Infallible because of His infinite wisdom, unwearied because of His incomprehensible omnipotence, and righteous because of His unbounded goodness and holiness.

 

Study Questions

1. According to Charnock, what difference is there between the providence God exercises toward all people and the providence he exercises toward his people?

2. How ought believers to pray in light of God’s providence as discussed in this chapter?

3. What does Scripture say about God’s providence toward people in difficult circumstances? Is this comforting to you?^[1]

 

^[1] Charnock, Stephen. 2022. Pgs 109-114 Divine Providence: A Classic Work for Modern Readers. Edited by Carolyn B. Whiting. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing.

 

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¹ It was an excellent speech of a Stoic: “There is no life in a world empty of God and providence” (ouk esti zon en to kosmo keno theon kai pronias).

^[1] Charnock, Stephen. 2022. Divine Providence: A Classic Work for Modern Readers. Edited by Carolyn B. Whiting. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing.